He'd switched careers, moving from programming

He'd switched careers, moving from programming to the classroom. He kept having to remind himself that kids were not machines. There was such little logic in what they did.

Yet at the same time, in some kind of surprising ways, they often made sense. There was definitely predictability in their actions. For example, some never brought pencils. Ever.

Others always needed a sheet of paper. And not just any kind. They needed the lined kind. The college-ruled kind. The kind that would allow them to fit 40 lines of cramped writing.

But not me. I liked the pure white space of unlined paper. The space of possibilities. I had no desire to be boxed in to the 40 line mold of mass society. That gig wasn't mine.

Because I was a deaf mute serial killer in a wheelchair. I had killed 1,316 living things. 80% were random pets, including a mule. But I have killed a lot of people. No one thinks

I have any decency or humanity in me, but I beg to differ. I am not just about the record setting killings. I know how to

get winded and then have to sit down. I was a murderer, but a very dumb one. So dumb, in fact, that I

tried to stab a man with a switch-blade comb. Instead of killing him, i just styled his chest hair. I won the comb at the fair, i had to throw darts at

large farm animals. Except when you hit these creatures they actually LIKE it. When I hit that alpaca I thanked my lucky stars for all the time I spent throwing darts at animals.