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I hate my grandma's attic. It's creepy and

  • I hate my grandma's attic. It's creepy and smells like moldy socks. Probably because there are moldy socks up there, along with the rest of dear departed grandpa's other things.

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  • it's not like she cares. she doesn't care about anything involving me. i am a disappointment she says. she doesn't mean it, but it is hard to look past those cold, empty, mad eyes.

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  • my mother is so mean ugh smh

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  • "Oh, Larry-boy...how could you say such a thing to me while I'm...I'm lying here on my (gasp) deathbed! I've al-always tried to be a good mother to (gasp) y-you. Remember one thing

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  • (cough) I-I'm actually... Your father." The last words from Larry's mother silenced the entire room. None dared to speak a word, except for

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  • great uncle John, but he never knew when it was appropriate to shut up. Larry, surprised by the revelation of (who he thought was) his mother's gender, was speechless.

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  • Larry bit his lip, & stared at the floor anxiously. "So, do I call Mom, Dad, now?" "ABSOLUTELY NOT, you hog!" she bellowed. Her gender may soon change, but her personality was

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  • absolutely beyond categorization. "ABC, you clods!" she continued. "You'll never take me alive!" Larry knew to keep his distance when she, soon to be he, went on these

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  • Rampage and robbed three stores downtown, including a convenience store where Larry had won the lottery in 2013. What happened to the money? Only he and his cat knew where it was.

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  • Ariadne screamed: "Wake me! Wake me!" "I told you Purina," hissed Cobb, batting at furry little bodies. "But you HAD to go with mice! Just pray Morris dreams about that money map!"

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