Every strum seemed to have an effect on the

Every strum seemed to have an effect on the nature of our existence, our outlooks, and our world. We hit a C chord, sending pulsations though the foliage, vibrating in our souls.

Yes, Dan Burderblatt had hacked into the PS3 and dark matter. He'd created "Rock Band: God Edition." His fake guitar could control the cosmos and creation right in his living room.

Strumming gracefully on his guitar controller, our hero Dan Burderblatt attempted to tackle the songs from the God Edition of Rock Band he created - but even for he, the songs were

wandered to a print of the Mona Lisa blue-tacked to the wall. 'Dear Lord, must I be always surrounded by near perfection, yet remain a miserable worm!' Dan thought, with fervour

. He revelled in his misery. He looked at the smudge of mold next to "Mona". If he squinted, it looked like Rembrandt's "King Uzziah Stricken with Leprosy" & a stale breadcrust

Casserole reminiscent of food rationing during world war 2 in the UK. Fake butter, fake chocolate, fake everything. Ramen noodles were plent,ful, even if loaded with sodium.

I mean fake sodium. In fact, the casserole was so reminiscent of food rationing during WW2, that air sirens started going off, and the old Churchill speeches were broadcasted on TV

Still, I had to try to choke the casserole down to please my stepmother, even if it meant enduring a hell more agonizing than the very beaches of Normandy. One bite after another,

I swallowed the mini Brussel Sprouts, little cabbage heads they were. I swear I have been caught in the movie "Step Mommie Dearest! Then I reached for the coat hanger!