Resolutions I will make, but probably won't

Resolutions I will make, but probably won't keep in 2016: (1) Spend less time on FoldingStory (2) Lose weight, exercise more, (3) Get more sleep, (4) Be nicer to Jefforama, (5)

Jump more, walk less, (6) Read a magazine, (7) Eat pineapples,

(8) No more read meat, (9) Capitulate and have only one burger and that's it, (10) okay two burgers, (11), use the elliptical I bought three Januarys ago, (12)

screw this, everything hurts and I quit. I've learned to love myself the hard way. (13) Make fun of all my Crossfit friends who will hurt their backs and experience excrutiating

return unscathed. In the MIND ROOM, you will feel your head expanding as your MIND bloats with useful knowlege. You will learn how to tell a bad egg from a good one, and how to

crack and peel them without crumbling too much. There is a recipe for deviled eggs in there somewhere; you just have to know where to look. Open your mind to the possiblities

in your spice cabinet. Drop that celery salt! Everyone uses that. Be creative. She'll be cumin 'round the mountain, they say. Dill death us do part. Cayenne if you can. Deviled egg

Was Satan's favourite food. He liked spicy catfish stew as well. It was served at a small restaurant on Broadway, for a very good price. The wait staff knew Satan well because he

always tipped really good and left a burning bible on the table. He walked his poodle up and down 8th Ave in his Batman PJs before a hole tore open the ground and he would go home.