I unwrapped the gum, and folded the stick

I unwrapped the gum, and folded the stick into my mouth. As I thought about the funeral's cancellation I noticed a new moon outside the window. Only then did I realize

I'd been... Swirling around, my gum flying out of my mouth, I stood face to face with Butch, the funeral director. She stood silent as a shadow, picked up my gum calmly and said

handkerchief and told her to pull herself together. Hysterical gum-chewing, couplet spewing, dumb ass broad. She sniffled offensively, and continued: "Have you no heart, you creatu

re of habit?" She was right, I was a creature of habit. Every night, after washing my poodle with lye, painting her toenails and

Taking sleeping pills, she died and I was free from my bad habits. It was wonderful. My poodle was relieved as well. Ding dong, the witch is dead. We celebrated her death while we

pranced around her grave like maniacs. A few people passed us by. We thought we'd give them a show and

they actually seemed to enjoy it. I thought that was surprising considering the circumstances. I leaned against a tall headstone and strummed my guitar.

"Play 'Heartbreak Hotel'," one ghost suggested. So I did my best Elvis impersonation and the ghosts danced and attempted to clap even though each hand went right through the other.

They cheered and egged me on. I began to really boogie down to the beat of KC and the Sunshine band. Finally, I was excepted as the newest member of the Ghost Gang!