"Bring me the Baron alive, but do what you
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"Bring me the Baron alive, but do what you want to the rest," said Capt. Purplebeard from the crow's nest. The pirates cheered in unison. "Dress-up!" They forced pillagees to wear
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Bjork's swan dress and sing Steely Dan. When the pirates tired of this, they'd feed the pillagees to the shrieking eels. Capt. Purplebeard entertained the Baron in his quarters,
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also singing Steely Dan (all pirates are big fans, particularly of the song "Peg"). The Baron was impressed by Capt. Purplebeard's talents, but when the shrieking eels drowned out
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"Do It Again,' the pirates became angry. The Baron steadily rested his tanker of grog on the table and raised his hand to the loud pirated. He said, "It look like Capt. Purplebeard
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After being snookered. " He loved playing snooker and table tennis. Baron Munchausen also loved biscuits and famously polished them off so fast his wife and kids got nothing.
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This arrangement went on for years until the baron suffered a heart attack from eating all of those biscuits, and died in the middle of breakfast.
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The baron’s fatal heart attack didn’t go over well with the Bob Evans waitress who had served him all those biscuits. Now she would never get a decent tip. After the baron’s dead b
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-ody was covered with a tablecloth, she snuck her hand under and removed wallet. "Take that, Dead Baron!" she smiled as she planned her retirement from waitressing. But there was
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a hiccup in the wallet that she never expected. A hiccup that could and did raise a dead man. The moment she opened the purloined wallet it let it out. The Dead Baron stood up like
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a broken spider finding its legs again, and then found his strength. He smiled and blessed her with the sign of Uncrossing, then left to seek the pleasures of this world.
3
- Started
- 2013-04-13 18:39:58
- Finished
- 2018-03-20 22:29:17
2 Comments
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LordVacuity Mar 20 2018 @ 22:37
So she got to keep the wallet and retired?
BlastedHeath Mar 20 2018 @ 23:00
I wouldn't worry too much about her ...