"Bring me the Baron alive, but do what you

"Bring me the Baron alive, but do what you want to the rest," said Capt. Purplebeard from the crow's nest. The pirates cheered in unison. "Dress-up!" They forced pillagees to wear

Bjork's swan dress and sing Steely Dan. When the pirates tired of this, they'd feed the pillagees to the shrieking eels. Capt. Purplebeard entertained the Baron in his quarters,

also singing Steely Dan (all pirates are big fans, particularly of the song "Peg"). The Baron was impressed by Capt. Purplebeard's talents, but when the shrieking eels drowned out

"Do It Again,' the pirates became angry. The Baron steadily rested his tanker of grog on the table and raised his hand to the loud pirated. He said, "It look like Capt. Purplebeard

After being snookered. " He loved playing snooker and table tennis. Baron Munchausen also loved biscuits and famously polished them off so fast his wife and kids got nothing.

This arrangement went on for years until the baron suffered a heart attack from eating all of those biscuits, and died in the middle of breakfast.

The baron’s fatal heart attack didn’t go over well with the Bob Evans waitress who had served him all those biscuits. Now she would never get a decent tip. After the baron’s dead b

-ody was covered with a tablecloth, she snuck her hand under and removed wallet. "Take that, Dead Baron!" she smiled as she planned her retirement from waitressing. But there was

a broken spider finding its legs again, and then found his strength. He smiled and blessed her with the sign of Uncrossing, then left to seek the pleasures of this world.