The note on the door said "Folding Story
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The note on the door said "Folding Story Animal Support Group". I walked in and sat down. Beside me was Jeff, the goat of existential angst, beside him, Det. Manatee. To my left
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was Spam Baby. Yeah, he's not animal, but the ham-smelling infant was being gnawed on by the Beaver of Hyper-Criticism. The Folding Story Animal Support Group also had
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protested folders' treatment Squawkers, disparaging remarks about unicorns and disrespect of the Chupacabra and turkeys in FS folds. The president of the FS Animal Support Group
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removed the turgid stoat from his front trouser pocket and slapped it on the table. "This," he shouted, "has to STOP! If folders continue to abuse imaginary animals I will invoke
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the turgid stoat claws, "Any folder caught figuratively abusing imaginary animals gets a virtual face-sitting by the mother-of-all-hippos". The acused replied, "But my imaginary
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thought bubble says 'Just kidding! I invoke the clown's defense!" The courtroom audience gasped. The mother-of-all-hippos looked disappointed. "BALDERDASH!!!" thundered Squakers.
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"Hush, Squakers. The clown is a good man." *No! I cannot trust a man who draws on his mouth every morning!" The clown began to cry. "Now see what you've done! For shame, Squakers."
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I felt so bad for the crying clown that I shot Squakers and served him to the clown with a nice white sauce. Unfortunately the clown was a vegetarian and cried even harder.
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Three innocent steps when seen from a certain perspective are a crime. What is the ethics of that? And who does it pay? Girl, who did your rosy glasses? (Possible sister of George)
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"No, I do not have any brothers and especially no George! Ewwwwwwww much?" "Roger that & that is Rosy Glasses, Contestant #3." [pan away from the girl quickly] {Quicker!]
3
- Started
- 2013-03-25 11:22:46
- Finished
- 2016-08-19 19:36:25
16 Comments
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seinundzeit Aug 19 2016 @ 19:50
I think I see a Cloning Controversy over that "your rosy glasses". Note possible proper name with out Capital Markers: leads to ambiguity. Could be good, could be bad. Could derail a perfectly good story. How, you might ask yourself. Yes, how? Wait, I wanted to ask myself first. I didn't need you to come in and cut to the chase or for you trying to go before this matter had been cleared. What? In the Comments! bye.
LordVacuity Aug 19 2016 @ 20:11
That was no cutting to the chase. There was no cutting and no chase. You literally walked out from behind this perfectly charming plastic papaya, stepped to the mike and read half a page of copy while the sound guy, the foley, retuned my pet tuna, yeah, he was tuning my tuna. Exactly like what it sounds like. And does this Pet Tuna have a name?
seinundzeit Aug 19 2016 @ 20:26
Spittoon. Spittoon Festus Hoss Lil Jo Alcott of the Bleak House Alcotts.
seinundzeit Aug 19 2016 @ 20:27
That is the Pet Tuna's name. We have the documentation.
seinundzeit Aug 19 2016 @ 20:33
[Covers microphone but we can clearly hear their discussion.] They say they have the documentation. They might. Could they be from Mars? Because I wouldn't put him past it. Fisk? Wilson Fisk? [At this point an altercation occurred in the court room which disconnected our Live Feed] We will update you as soon as we know more.
earthquakes Aug 19 2016 @ 21:46
Det. Manatee!
SlimWhitman Aug 20 2016 @ 09:05
Squawkers!
Woab Aug 20 2016 @ 10:13
Lucielucie, your line killed me!
SlimWhitman Aug 20 2016 @ 11:26
Just realized I don't have Turgid Stoat on my homepages foldingstory meme list., and have amended it. So you don't have to patronize my page, here is the very first Turgid Stoat story... http://foldingstory.com/4u6pi/
LordVacuity Aug 20 2016 @ 14:20
That is a nice list you got there Slim. I wish I had thought of doing that when I first started doing EQs. I've had a lot of recurring characters over the years that are now lost to the spammers or site owners moving on. I have brought a few with me here but their backstories or intros are lost at other sites. Like Woab has her list of characters as well that when we would see them we already knew somewhat how they were. Not that that would stop us from doing whatever we wanted with each other's characters but it made each story richer because we knew them already.
LordVacuity Aug 20 2016 @ 14:31
There are a lot of great lines in this story but I think my favorite is "but the ham-smelling infant was being gnawed on by the Beaver of Hyper-Criticism." It scans so well.
lucielucie Aug 20 2016 @ 15:53
Ta. v much Woab! Hope you are feeling better now. The Beaver of Hyper Criticism! I'd forgotten that... it makes its appearance in this story: http://foldingstory.com/d3azn/jkfumm/ I just hung out on your page, SW. It's looking good since you repapered and put in that feature wall. I had a little boogie to the 80s classics you got piped in there and snacked on the complimentary peanuts. Great job!
SlimWhitman Aug 20 2016 @ 17:58
Why thankya LL. Always glad to hear people enjoyed the new page. Did you find the sofas comfy? I got them special deal from the Wong Emporium closeout sale, the lava lamps are from a shop in Soho and the paintings are original J. Manatees, notice them tail swishes.
lucielucie Aug 21 2016 @ 07:49
I just knew you'd mention the sofa, SW. I wasn't passed out surrounded by empty alcopops. I was taking a little nap after an exhausting conversation with the Goat of Existential angst :)
LordVacuity Aug 21 2016 @ 08:58
So it was you who kept the Goat of Existential angst tied up all night so that he missed vespers with Sister Keep Your Mitts Off Him Charity again.
49erFaithful Aug 24 2016 @ 16:03
*Squawkers My bad!