Once upon time there was a girl addicted

Once upon time there was a girl addicted to avenged sevenfold. She's the most famous hoe of the city,her name was Sofia.

She planned to spend a week shipping 800 pairs of

caribou antlers and a jug of mucilage to her best friend's sister's

forehead. "There now." said her best friend to her sister. "Your reindeer disguise will surely get us close to Santa ." "Antlers too heavy, glue's not sticking," said BFF sis.

"At least your nose is already red," said the BFF. "Are you coming down with a cold? Santa won't like that!" Sissy sniffled & adjusted her drooping antlers. "If Santa catches your

I was utterly speechless. How could this have happened? The characters and plot rapidly disappeared from my mind and I prepared to spend another dreary day in the normal boring wor

k of a cat burgler, which was my summer job since I was 15. I stole a lot of cats in my life, burgled them I guess you could say. PETA paid a lot of money for them, not sure why

that was, especially when I delivered them dead or severely maimed. Anyway, it was a good source of income to help pay for my hashish habit and online voyeur accounts.

Dealers often commented that I looked more like a sports model than a fan of hashish, but my love life was still a desert. I was fit, driven, clairvoyant --time for a new career.