Finished Folds (1781—1800)
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7know all those alcohol companies promoting responsible drinking are really hoping to foster addiction at an early age and lock in a massive consumer base for decades to come. Pabst
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2it's too "edgy" for Nickelodeon so we'll have to go straight to DVD. I can't believe the micro management of standard programming these days but the censors hold all the power.
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5were always pretending their toots didn't stank but the servants knew whose room to avoid in the early hours after a long night of feasting and drinking. Sir Gregory's pantaloons
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6I slammed the giant bird down on the table & said "FINE! Then you eat it." With that, I twisted the top off a giant jug of chardonnay & headed into the backyard. This Thanksgiving
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4ly agreeing to undergo radical frog-transmogrification surgery whereby he'd have been altered to look like a fat short snake. The Reptile Coalition had cornered the market on
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4In the beginning, there were 1,800 potential characters. Then just like that, there were 1,620.
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3Happy, Sneezy, Grouchy, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful & Doc
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1I was so relieved when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I'd been looking for a way out of the relationship and happened to be sterile. She didn't know this. Of course, she
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3She exited the office wiping the corner of her mouth and dialed up her lawyer, Jackie Chiles. "Jackie, I've got a case for you. That's right, a doctor too. Mmm hmm. OK see you
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3calls for some simple math! I whipped out my slide rule and applied the proper formula. "Carry the one, divide by pi. Hmm, no that can't be right..." Meanwhile 10 of them had begun
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3And just like that, the bookstore got demo'd. "Dammit Dale! First the deli, now the bookstore. Gimme that thing." Wally took control of the wrecking ball & scowled at the Blockbust
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0I suppose I should really use some air quotes around the word English too. What I speak is really more of a pidgin street Engtalian. If you want a sandwich, no problem. But deeper
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4hork the milk he'd just drank up out of his nose onto the banana-wielding monkey who had a lactose intolerance and began to sneeze all over the cash register. It was
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4rapy resumed and the group was back in circle. A lot could happen during a 15 minute break from group therapy. I looked at my new fiance who seemed to be experiencing some sort of
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6served at each annual King's Feast. The King loved dining on Endangered Species & if I could catch this rarest of rare birds and sell it to the King's butcher I'd be rich. I snuck
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4or treating was acceptable at the North Pole. Christmas is just 2 months away! Forget Halloween! So Santa milked one of his pregnant reindeer and poured it in the elves punch. The
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5ith I.T. support which is critical when bodily functions are replaced by static technology. Sure, the Zip Drive genitalia was state of the art 10 years ago but now Agent Chalmers
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4smeared spackle over a giant hole in the floor and laughed about dropping upper-deckers in the master bath. It was all hilarious until one of the Korean Security Officers fell into
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3into stardust. Golden. Billion year-old Carbon. They had to get themselves back to the Garden. Though their bodies now consisted of stardust, their souls/egos remained intact.
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7History teacher. He'd thrown in the towel after getting tenure. Class now consisted of Calvin & Hobbes cartoons on M & W, and pop lyrics review on F. His RateMyTeacher.com score