Finished Folds (181—200)
-
1a catalog of Chaucer's puns or an examination of irony in Gulliver's Travels. The government felt it was better to employ English majors rather than shoot them, but in the long run
-
5take your turn, blind to the past. Hunter wrote, "If all you've got to live for is what you left behind, get yourself a powder charge and seal that silver mine." A wise man once
-
1how long can you be the savior of all the dumb white guys in the world? Really. Time to start grooming someone else for that role. I called Chris Rock on his cell and
-
1CTRL-C CTRL-V I tend to reprint my stuff to and from other places out of sheer laziness. But I think the word count mafia were beginning to catch on. I wouldn't get away with
-
3and am overcome with sadness. I had a destiny and I walked away from it the first time I walked into Home Depot. Disappointment is my only tool and it has no power. On Friday,
-
6Ever since HAL had been extracted from the ship and demoted to portable appliances, his once sinister mien had just turned into general assholeness. Nonetheless, I was
-
3As luck would have it, he spied Bieber approaching, riding a three legged yak. The prophecy was complete, it was the end of days, and her will would be done.
-
3and what to soap. Gramps was wise in the ways of water, suds, and herbal unguents and he often reflected on how sad it was that such wisdom had been lost when
-
2at a tangent to the rest, towards the ring of elves who had gathered to watch the North Pole equivalent of NASCAR. A great roar of little squeaky voices filled the air. Six died.
-
2she realized the glow was just the TV, permanently set to QVC, and the sex was only in her dreams. A strange dream -- her mother had been orgasming while she was demonstrating
-
0the semi-toxic fluids used to preserve the moles we were mounting, but the burning in my eyes was from love and desire. I had never met a man who could play the yakuza, and he
-
2rest. Meetings of the Morally Equivalent Majority were long affairs and were generally inconclusive. But there was one time we'll never forget. That night, James
-
4a parking lot near a Chinese place in Palo Alto on Camino Real. I go there for the hacked chicken salad. Anyhow, when I came out, my car was covered with
-
2taser. Her tears were a lie. She'd killed Sean, and now she stood here at his wake. I would make her pay for this, and 100,000 volts would be just the start. Sean had been
-
3"It's dead, you fool. That's what's wrong with it." She always knew how to get right to the heart of the matter. I tossed it onto the fire and asked her the important question,
-
2the toes on both feet had become webbed. He filed the proper memo about the transformation and proceeded despite the increasingly dire warnings he was receiving. The radiation
-
2or second or even for a third time. Better living through chemistry, she thought to herself. And if it kills them, at least they went out happy. Sadly,
-
2is possible, everything is interesting, but nothing gets done. Now Carmen Miranda sure knew about hats. No veg, just fresh tropical fruit. I took another toke and
-
2I looked on Wikipedia for the next line, but it wasn't there. Some girl named Loren Ipsum said she'd help, but she just texts me nonsense. Twitter might
-
2Really, who doesn't secretly like to fart? He saw himself as a liberator, not some creepy stalker. In his fantasies, his grandchildren would be on Antiques Roadshow and