9 Folds
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aborigine natives who lived in the surrounding area. The rhythmic pulse of the bass drum brought back memories of their homeland. So much so that the oldest of them, began to -
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diabolical hot sauce into a pill form. This way, the burn would not affect his victim's tastebuds. The capsaicin would be directly applied to the lining of the stomach, causing
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chewing gum, and ran to the nearest exit. There, he blew a bubble the size of his head! Once outside, he turned and
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She examined closely, but there were no wings. She knew Uncle Bob was full of it when he mentioned buffalo wings, but she had to see for herself. She had to get back at him, so she
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giggled uncontrollably. "Look at this guy, thinking the food was the problem!" the dogs snickered. They hadn't told the man about the stash of weed they had found behind the
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smell. It sort of resembled a baby diaper, but without the minty freshness. Still, Doody couldn't go anywhere, since he was blocked in be a UPS truck. The delivery man was
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North Dakota. My brother, Confusion, always hated the state naming thing too. He was brutally beaten as a kid, both on the playground and
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but never had the nerve to pop the question to. Only now, with her son disfigured worse than a pizza pie under a Goodyear, the odds were stacked against her. Still, she had to try
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erecting an erect erection in the rectory. There was dancing in the streets, partying in the basements, and f*cking in the bathrooms. If only there was a way to clean the
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a rousing rendition of "Tomorrow" from Annie. "The sun'll come out, tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...." The red-headed stepchild belted the tune with the power of
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When he offered a sandwich, she asked, "Turkey?" But the lawyer didn't like Mr. Fogelberg, so he tried to Sudan. Instead
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there are treasure chests buried in untold locations in the Caribbean. But what good would standing on this balance beam do me? I needed to find a parrot and
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out of their hot air balloons. If only they could hang on a bit longer, they might be able to make it to the other side of the Grand Canyon. But, the threat of rain made it
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some mandarin dialect resembling Klingon. Her words may have been lost on the room, but her intentions were clear. She would never let the parrot out alive! Her wand began to
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unable to penetrate the tendons that kept his head attached to his spine, but not for lack of trying. As she continued to feast upon the goodness, she felt a cool breeze on her
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there was no need to bring my credit history into this. There would always be room for improvement, but I would need to start paying my bills on time first. To that end, my father
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vowed to never eat candy corn again. Yes, they provided sustenance for Pacman in the 80's. But for him, they could only spell doom and despair for his world. Instead, he would
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immersing herself in chamomile and lavender scented bath oils. The sweet floral aroma aroused every man within 50 feet. The Pied Piper of Sexuality led her new followers to the
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aromatic than that, reminding of the flatulence of my childhood. My Dad's ass began to permeate my thoughts as I tried to forget the awful, torturous memories. Alas, I could only
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where to my surprise, I found a pile of cash and a brand new car! Monty Hall was standing at the entryway, blocking the path from intruders. He asked me, "