Finished Folds (841—860)
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5you could get a decent cheese burger. I still had my skateboard and Monster drink. Even as the drone tanks razed the Community Center, I was not backing down.
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4Fortunately, my Precious Moments collection was secure in the underground vault. As the fire ball swept through my neighborhood, my little lambs of God were safe.
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6With a wiggling walk and a giggling talk she made the world go round, round, round. She made me act so funny and spend my money. But baby, she knew what I liked!
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4was dated, carbon to be exact. King Tut looked again in the mirror. If he used an ace bandage and some duct tape, maybe he could hold it together just this once. The doorbell rang,
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2"Mein Gott! Vas ist das?" I exclaimed. Friedriche slithered down the wall. (Translated.) "The experiment was a complete success! My bones are incorporeal!"
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3things like coffee and banana peels. The cheerleaders slumped back in beanbags and watched 'Beach Blanket Bingo' while listening to Kraftwerk. They were stoning the wrong way.
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7Mime-rape? I put down the submission and rubbed my eyes. Ever since '50 shades of facepaint,' clowns of all types have been sending in the worst. "Dear Mrs. Fenderbike," I wrote,
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4raw fuel for my spaceship of the IMMMAAAGINATTIIOOON... On as little as an 8th grader's love sonnet of deep angst, our ship could reach terminal velocity.
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2ask to many questions... ever never." "But Dad..." "NEVER! now go to bed or the Harlem Globetrotters will destroy the earth. Do I hear dribbling? Cover your heads!"
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3The mole on my patient's face slowly drifted out of focus as I heard a steel drum softly play "The Girl from Ipanema." Two weeks of rest and relax... The nurse slapped my face.
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2They intoned... "Happy Birthday to Youuuuu. Happy Birthday..." Acrid smoke emerged from the pentagram. The priestess arose "Come blow out the candles and make a wish."
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4. "No problamo," my fiance interrupted. "My bridesmaids are professional wrestlers, they can take it."What about the catering?" I said, "Malt liquor and beef sticks?" "Chill, babe
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7nuclear missile. The Mountie tipped his hat. "And where did you get that?" "North Dakota, military surplus." I replied. "Any alcohol?" "No." "Okay, move along."
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5Q: Where do you put your cat's dead chipmunk? (a) garbage, (b) neighbor's yard, (c) neighbor's mail slot.
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5She looked in the mirror. Her mom looked back. How did she get this old? Her hair had turn silver but she still had a Backstreet Boys tattoo.
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6The security guard shined a light in my face. "Sorry, sir please open the trunk." He lifted the latch and the man-eating cows pounced. My biotech smuggling days where over.
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7Ah, but you see you clicked on the 'Terms of Service.' This gives us every right to do the following. Now, hold still....
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1Jon's 'look' was that slight smirk that stoners get when they find the whole canopy of life amusing. Igrite knew then she wanted to punch him so much. An opportunity arose when
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7We hit the dirt and then I returned fire. KA-POW! KA-POW! I ran to the pill box dodging bullets UTTA!-UTTA!-UTTA! I radioed a strafe bombing MEEERRROOOOW! BOOOM!
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6no one notices me! I could care about your crisis if you just took a moment and thought how important I am. I have selfies and everything!