Finished Folds (861—880)
-
2. "See's your stuck in there all right. Get you out in a jiffy." The light went out and I was in pitch blackness."Wait, where am I?" The room tilted and I slammed against the wall.
-
2I feel forgetting the past will require copious amounts of alchohol. Two shots of tequilla and BOOM! that prom rejection disappears. For my recent past, A fifth of Moskovskaya will
-
4Well, we have the test results in. Your blood lab reads you have a nougaty center.
-
5. Sure aardvarks can dig through concrete. But for their big zoo breakout, they had to wait for the right time. They discussed their plans over a bowl of termite soup.
-
2Nietzsche's summer camp for disaffected youngsters was a hit with disillusioned parents. Drop off your charges for two weeks of introspective existentialism. When they get back,
-
5or the Queen of England. I have written letters to several high ranking celebrities about my neighbor shotgunning pigeons topless. A man's house is his kingdom, but really.
-
6When the rock polka was in, he was there. Riffing on his rhinestone studded accordion, he played every beer hall. One day, he met four hoods from Liverpool. "Rock? Yah?"
-
7I smiled and gave Ace a fiver. Kiss had fallen on hard times. Begging for bucks at the Catskills dinner theater. "No, they aren't ICP, eat your beets dear."
-
2. I hit the snooze and turned over. The spirit hovered over my bed. "Get out!" it hissed. "Lemme 'lone. Need coffee." The spirit wailed and rattled its chains. Every goddam morning
-
1attic next to the thread-worn hobby horse. I had it hidden in the album. "Please give it back." I pleaded. He held it out of reach. "You had X-Men #3 and you didn't TELL ME?"
-
8He spontaneously combusted. I pirouetted on my roller blades and high-tailed out of there. Above me the sun's heat seemed hotter. That's when I saw the magnifying glass
-
5Evaporated cane syrup. Really? You think we are dumb enough at this co-op to not know that this is sugar? Gluten-free? Milk-free? Fat-free? Is there anything left in this food?
-
6His mission was to make sure every pond, pool, river, lagoon, lake, and run-off contained at least one rusted broken-down shopping cart.
-
6It flew over the lawyer's desk and whisked away the last page of Lord Cobble's will. The sheet danced in the wind's eddies and out into the street where it was picked up by
-
5CRAP! CRAP! NOW I AM SHOUTING EVERYWHERE! DAMNTHESPACEKEYISSTUCK!WHATCULDPSSIBLYGWRNGNW?GDDAMMIT!
-
5rabbits in the yard. My fellows pushed me out with a clipboard and pencil stub. I cowered before the beady eyes. Desperately, I turned back, but it was locked. "Count them dammit!"
-
11The demonolgist's day job was painting lines in parking lots. This went well until the winter solstice
-
2Carl, Secret Agent of Her Majesty's Corgi Elite! Nipping the mayor of London's cuff, he pulled him away from the zombie horde. But could he get the anti-venom in time?
-
2Although praised for its fuel economy and eco-friendly construction, it was further discovered the new 2015 Turbo Elite was just a cardboard box with flames painted on the sides.
-
5required so we could think like the enemy. We set about climbing rope webs with four extra arms attached to our Kevlar. The 8-eye nightscope allowed us to see