Finished Folds (61—80)
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4Or don't make pies. It's your choice, really. However, I must say, if you choose to make pies, you should also choose to share. Like momma always says, "He who makes pies makes
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3Until I transform, of course, and you see that it's actually the beginning. I'm an Ironicabot. Dinobots and Constructibots have nothing on me. Even Optimus Prime can't match my
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5dressed as a knight, but acted the fool. Of course, that's not entirely surprising since he'd won Employee of the Year and Fan Favorite for eight years running. Still, one might
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3gassy...extremely gassy. Eating the entire Taco Bell dollar menu in one sitting, it turns out, is powerful medicine only if you're looking to cure yourself of a horrible case of
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2cold spaghetti noodles. Once again, mom had put together her infamous Spooky Buffet. Beneath the lamp I also found a bowl of peeled grape "eyeballs" and a still beating human
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1polite above all things. The clone-cow child stopped whimpering and watched the Minotaur pass before bellowing out a ferocious "MOO!" The minotaur knew it was a trap. He spun on
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4I was prepared to meet my maker. Prepared for the end. Prepared to breathe my last breath. As darkness enveloped me I smiled, knowing full well that I wouldn't be the last victim.
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7My mind immediately flashed back to swimming lessons at the YMCA, when my dad shoved me into the water to teach me to swim. "Don't worry, you'll float!" I never forgave him for
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1Such language for a lady!
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5before Mr. J jumps in and reminds us that we should behave ourselves and whatnot.
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6it was the wrong bus. Great! How in the world do I continue to get myself into these messes. Last time I got onto the wrong bus I ended up spending the night debating the merits of
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4As I sat alone, fuming in my fog of hatred towards the open-mouth chewers and french fry moochers, I saw her. An angel in Uggs and Abercrombie & Fitch. She looked up and caught my
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4Twinkies are forever...unless of course Hostess goes out of business and people raid the stores to stock up and you happen to be the only person left Twinkie-less. That would be a
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4I shouldn't square the denominator if there's no remainder greater than the terminator of the perpetrator of this love. Unfortunately, I didn't study, so I'm going to need a retake
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6Unfortunately it's 8:01 a.m. and I realize the party's over. Of course, for me, the party ended years ago. If I hadn't listened to Javier's advice I might never have fallen into
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6I thought having women chase me like in those Axe commercials would be fantastic, but now that I'm living that twisted dream it's become a nightmare. I round the corner, thinking I
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3The one belief. The true belief. The belief beyond beliefs. And I stole it. Who would believe
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4A plan finally emerged. She would run to the store and buy Cool Ranch Doritos, her father's kryptonite. We would then wait patiently until he'd gorged himself to the point of
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2With darkness approaching, I knew that I only had a few minutes to make my decision. If I chose wrong, my life might never be the same. I reached my hand forward and selected
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1I need to stop listening to the radio. Seriously. Just because you're the Top 40 station it doesn't mean you can only play those 40 songs. If I ran a radio station I'd make sure