13 Folds
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3
sleigh, but Cree's dogs were having none of it, they just laid there like the lazy drunken fleabags they were. Glegelg station could wait, he supposed. Now where was that whiskey? -
5
It was black leather-bound, and had a golden symbol and inscription on the cover reading "You don't want to read this, you really don't" I picked it up and thought 'yes I do', so
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2
With her newly acquired moose superpowers, my sister became Moosegirl. I thought it was pretty cool, so I stupidly reached my hand to a raccoon, but all I got was rabies.
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5
Takeshi Migamoto ran and ran, until he could not run anymore. He collapsed in front of a karaoke bar. Had he lost them? He heard the Yakuza thugs shouting far behind. He entered
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6
Being dead sucks ass.... I should know. I've been dead for just over an hour, and it feels like bloody eternity already. There's a crow approaching. Shoo! Leave my corpse alone you
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5
What do you mean 'now what?', didn't you get the memo? It's THE day, you didn't even bring the beers did you? You were supposed to bring beer, and chips. Today is National
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4
said "Good afternoon, how may I help you today?" But my face really said "It's the end of my shift, and you bunch of fat-asses just made me stay for at least another hour, you
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3
I can't be happy AND be a psychopathic maniac on the loose, jeez, give me a break. I had fallen for this really sweet girl in Ohio, she wanted kids and a labrador, but the FBI
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7
a download accelerator, my staff is spending way too much time in the toilet, we are a Michelin starred restaurant for God's sake!" But what Blumethal's staff was really doing in
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6
"M-me? Huum.... I, I, I'm also writing my résumé..... yeah, thats it, for my next job...." I panicked, I lied, I was really writing a death threat to my boss. But this sinking ship
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9
and find out why so many hobos are leaving their street life behind!" I had nothing to loose, so I followed the luxury hobo into the vagabond cruise ship. We sailed for weeks,
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3
got even angrier when Tesla entered a heated argument with Faraday's mind, and it all went haywire when Alessandro Volta and Edison butted in the conversation. Sparks flew, and
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1
Or so I foolishly thought. Yes, my stupid smugness and idiotic pretentiousness did get me far and high in life, but what I didnt account for was that my very self-righteous ego
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6
It was the day the lights switched off, no more electricity, no more cars, no more internet. For good. Some say it was the beginning of a new age. Others say it was just a really
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5
Silicone Man was born. I tried explaining the negative side effects of having his whole body stuffed with silicone, and that he looked like a human Michelin man. But he had none of
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6
was beyond the mountains that stood before me, a 4 or 5 days walk. But then at the edge of a forest I noticed a strange creature that suffered from serios schizophrenia, "Gollum
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3
be like picking up women anywhere else, a cute puppy would suffice.... or a cute puppy with a missing limb, chicks go all 'Awwww...' when they see one. They found a lost limp dog
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4
Admiral looked at the lifeless corpse of the grammar offender, and a rush of despair crashed on him, "Everyone thinks I'm a Nazi, what have I become! I'm a monster!" And just then
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4
legend says is hidden the long lost recipe of the first muffin ever made! ... uhm, by the wife of Noah, when it stopped raining... Even the Knights Templar looked for this map, and
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2
"Tim" is actually me...... Sad point in my life, I know, but I'm not ashamed! For I have discovered that true happiness can only be achieved by baring what your mama gave you to al