Finished Folds (681—700)
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3Which reminded him of Fisher Price® Little People for some reason. He loved those as a child until that one day the dog
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1in the way was lack of influence of any kind. That's what happens when you get drunk and sing "Love Shack" karaoke one too many times and it ends up on YouTube. He lost all
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1out his first quilting bee. He was excited about learning how to do Flying Square pieced patterns. He secretly hoped that the instructor would work in the Star of the Alamo and
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2- unlike that one-breasted Elizabeth Edwards blowup doll he got at the company White Elephant gift exchange. It was opened to groans of "too soon..." as no one was willing to claim
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4which hurts. Seriously; ouch. Falling coinage sounds all pretty until it actually happens. Those things can embed in your skull and do some serious damage. So, he took cover behind
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5"Stop getting so handsy" to some guy in an Ed Hardy t-shirt. "Who let this douche in the room?" Then, security guards rushed in and grabbed
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4The entire Yothers family was formed from Poi and emigrated to the mainland from Hawaii in the 1960s. To keep her pale tone, Tina was on a strict white-food-only diet, except for
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3For he was an incarnation of Janus, the two-faced god. It certainly made life interesting. Still, life was not as cushy for him as it was for gods with a little more panache. So he
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1quite a ruckus during church bingo night. At the first outburst, Betty soiled herself and started giggling to herself, "There's a lot of poop in there" Her attendant crinkled his
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3as the men from Arkham Asylum slowly approached her from behind, straight jacket and anti-psychotic syringes in hand. Still, she continued her random and disharmonic banging as
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2the first chapter of Stephen King's latest novel at the time. It took that 14 years just to get through it all as she was held hostage by the thousands and thousands of pages. Then
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2and then some. When she spoke, her words - which should have been terrifying - were laughable as the helium caused her to squeak in threatening cartoon voice. Tension and hilarity
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1It was definitely time for a new dye job. Mousy roots were her bane and she could not bear the pain of glancing in the mirror again. That being the case, she
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4"Knocked-Up and Milky" magazine. As if... there was no way her grandma's semi-petrified yams were going to do anything but continue their sagging journey down to her knees. Still,
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2his growing bald spot under that baseball cap he always wore. Flustered and hyperventilating, he walked into the office building and whipped out his asthma inhaler as he
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2matter to him and the task at hand - crop-dusting his coworkers at the DMV. The curious odor of burned rubber an KY Jelly filled the room. Then his boss walked in and
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1after a whirlwind romance that left them both breathless. Cuddling together in a hammock, the quarterback nuzzled the principals' neck, twirling his finger through the other man's
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7that was a relief. Her constant droning had turned into a high pitch whine that was making his ears bleed and was scrambling his brains like a cuisinart. He grabbed a Q-tip and
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3Her room mate hates the word "vagina," which makes how-was-your-day conversations awkward as she works as a physician's assistant for a gynecologist. So euphamisms are a way of
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2set and passed out from too much booze. This is the last time he'd let his straight brother accompany him to gay mardi gras in Sydney. Pushing aside his brother, he stumbled out of