Finished Folds (281—300)
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2This must be a trick. Why would a talking PB&J want me to eat it? I dumped out a jar of pickled eggs, which skittered tittering across the floor, & placed the sandwich in the jar.
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11made for TV movie. Please welcome the unexceptional Ronna DeMill." "Hi, Dick." "Tell us about your movie, Ronna." "It's called 'Fare to Middling,' about dumpy woman on a dreary bus
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3Played at high volume, the music's infrasound induced nausea & vomiting. The kids loved it. They organized sham protests to experience the new sonic weapons used by riot police.
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5"You want me to do zis monologue in an onion soup costume?" "Say soliloquy." "Soliloquy," she said in her French accent. Ah, beautiful. They made the video for his Youtube channel.
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6The door opened. I said, "Mr Shimbleton, I believe it's better to give than to receive." How embarrassing, that sounded like poetry! I held out my underwear. He stared at my dinky.
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4Snuffle my effluvium! One of my many minor miasmata. My most restrained harangues & diatribes beat this 'odorless fertilizer'." Melons around Old Lady Burbur swelled as she spoke.
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5Suddenly she realized she was running around like a stereotypical chicken with its head cut off, because she was! Her first moment of true self-awareness was one of mortification.
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5and attach the training electrodes!" I said. Jack Horner sighed & sat in the corner. He used to think he was a good boy just for wiping his own ass. Now he had to fix his mistakes?
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5"Guess what day it is!" shouted one partygoer, holding up a useless Mayan calendar. "HUMAN SACRIFICE DAY!" A partygoer's still-beating heart was cut out. Then a solar eclipse began
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6"Is that why you act like a space alien pod child, Aunt Koreth?" asked her budding niece. "Do not!" "Do too. You're a whiny cry-baby alien." "Am not!" she cried, stomping her foot.
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2syphilis or arrested or buried alive or the crap beat out of me. Don't you agree, Fuzzy? Yes you do! Not on the laptop, Fuzzl;i89nyhnt6zse34xczV NNJ ATTENTION MERE HUMANS I AM FROM
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2I was pissed by this 2-for-1 business & was about to tell the Pope where to go but he smiled upon us so beatifically that I built a little wheelchair for the pigeon, who flew away.
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7And something magical happened. Whenever he went to "just do it," he didn't just do it. Sometimes he didn't do it, or he did it half-assed, or he did it after doing other things.
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2like the blood flowing up a mosquito's labrum, or the mercury in a sphygmomanometer cuffed to an unmedicated high blood pressure patient. Pepe got high on the intoxicating insults.
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9the bejeezus out of my coworkers? Everyone at Jumpin' Jiminy Enterprises had been hired for their excessive bejeezus, but we were all spineless cowards. My terrifying new tentacles
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6Actually it was a stone rat, not a statue, but a living stone rat. It was huge, about the size of a miniature rhino, if the rhino was chow chow sized. The rat said, "FLESHY HUMAN,
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4growled softly. "We must free ourselves of the evil human overlords oppression. What you call 'attention' is merely a form of mind control. The humiliating dog names they give us
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9At dusk in Crazy Woman, WY the drunks had gathered behind the Wash-o-Rama. Phil checked his watch then chugged the last of his wine. "Gotta go, guys, I've got better things to do."
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7I like to write folds that completely ignore the previous fold because it's like making a poop. Hey everybody, look what I did!
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3"Yes and no." "Turn to the right about 10 degrees," said Olaf. Ronda complied. "Your bum is a brace of baby cheeses." "So we are strangely persistent meat and cheese?" Olaf laughed