Finished Folds (61—79)
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1was managed by the Ringling Bros. Mafia. He would often have to take a hit out on a clown that wasn't "pretty enough". And sure, that was humorous... at first. But after a while,
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1So he decided he'd stab this hairy lady to make up for it. She screamed louder than humans are supposed to as she bled to death. Rasputin smiled.
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1Just as we finished cleaning the lavatory, an alien hatchling burst out of Tupoc's chest, and the rest of us soiled ourselves. All that work for nothing! Man, what a shitty
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3for war! Lieutenant Marshe suggested we engage the commies hand-to-hoof, but I just wanted to nuke Equestria back to the Stone Age. The commander-in-chief met us halfway by
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4for fear that we would kick innocent peoples' asses for no good reason. They were right. Just as I had aimed the cowtapult at the Punjabi village, the cops
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1had to be put down because he would bite all the skiiers' limbs off. Some say his puppies roam the slopes, waiting for their turn to dismember. But the victims lived, so what
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0Not even breathing. They died of asphyxiation.
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0Then I shoved cutlasses into their peeholes for making a career out of torturing me with shitty television, and rewarded my own good deed with
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1by "steeled" I mean "sliced open with a steel katana". Nobody showed up to Tamara's funeral because she was a loser. Everybody
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4kicks total ass. I showed up at the office swinging my axe at every neck in sight, stopping only to piss on a desk or eat a coworker. Valhalla will
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1"No thanks, she's a woman so she's already gabby enough," Adam answered on Eve's behalf. But of course the dumb bitch couldn't take the hint and ate the grapes anyways. The snake
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5Live children! It'd been so long since any of us had eaten even a dead one. "I found an overturned bus full of them," Mama Bear boasted as she passed
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4was donkey-punch every last cow on earth to death. Then the milk carton cartel would have nothing to put my face on, and my family
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0So they uppercutted the cows to death. The sudden influx of beef
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4en the faintest smell of lasagna in hopes that she could wolf it down. Knowing this, Sam's teacher loaded a tomato-sauce-scented bullet
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3as long as the king's horses weren't around. They'd just shit all over the place and make it worse. Humpty wished he could kick the King's ass
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4why there were no water traps. "What dumbass forgot to add water traps?" Kana yelled as he pulled out his wedge for the 23rd time and
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0"You push the pedal and they go, that's all anyone needs to know." Her smug satisfaction was disrupted by a tire iron ruining her facial features. He
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0bullied all the colored roses. "BRIGHT COLORS PISS OFF MY DARK SOUL" it shouted, shoving its thorns into Yellow and