Finished Folds (41—60)
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7animals. If you eat vegetables, I'll demote you to duke of the jungle or lower. Grizzly, I'm going to teach you how to maul the shit out of
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2Not because of my metal exterior, but because of the sexless life it gives me. Then again, Megatron probably has lots of sex. In fact, one time Megatron and
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2the heroin. He shot up. Only a little. He needed the deal to go through. That's why he smuggled it in the first place. But more than that, he needed to forget
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3they were having such fun that they didn't notice the bed starting to give way until it gave way. The fall killed them all, except the rabbit because it wasn't real. Taking
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4identical paint. This pissed me off. "I did it, in the game room, with the knife," I said. "You can't guess on my turn!" my girlfriend scolded as I opened the silverware drawer,
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3my subjects dishonoring me with giggling. "I AM LORD CAO PAI OF THE DU DYNASTY!" I roared to command my respect. Alas, the laughter got louder. Being king of China was
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4you shine 'em up real nice, you turn them sumbitches sideways, and you shove them straight up your candyass! What's your name?
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2rough if you wanted to keep it legal under the new standards. Farmers everywhere were chainsawing animals' heads off just to avoid paying fines. Ranchman Jimbo had an
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2built an elaborate network of mirrors to concentrate moonlight onto one spot. Then he tied Sarah to that spot. "Now I'll never dump you for being ugly," Mark
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2could no longer resist his big meat. She ripped off her clothes, threw herself at his feet, and they made love. And that, grandson, is why I never buy you the cream-filled ones.
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2he died.
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3. The rules for this sport are rather intuitive: whichever gardener's plant is the dewiest wins. We paid for our tickets with our hard-earned snakeskins and sat
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5handle being flattened by my sledgehammer. Babies blow. I ate the rest of her potstickers and took over the controller. Call of Duty
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1lies the golden mean: killing sharks with paper shredders while girls get exposed by their drunk uncles. Nobody could complain about
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4but sadly, Philosophy Stu didn't love her back. Not because his deterministic outlook reduced "love" to just a certain pattern of neurons and endorphins, but because she was ugly.
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1A lumberjack passed by and called me a pussy. I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. Then he split my ovaries in two with his mighty hatchet and walked
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3upvote all the folds in this story, so I could achieve worldwide fame as the star of the Story of the Month. I started registering accounts by the thousands, hoping that Geoff
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4so he slit Lil' Lyndon's throat and drank from the resulting blood fountain. Spiro Jr. asked if he could have a drink too, but
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3make money. Good thing I clarified the motive there, because you dipshits are too goddamn stupid to figure it out on your own. The bird's nest soup racket
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0Oh yeah, it was me! I laughed at her and asked if she always kept her fingers in her asshole. The whole room heard me, and she ran out crying. I laughed so hard it hurt. The next