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up in the glow of the sun through the stained-glass windows. The organ played "How Deep Is Your Love" and the people put on the shirts and danced out onto the street, laughing. -
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In walked the doctor, in walked the nurse, in walked the lady with the alligator purse. "Not this time!" shouted Buster as he drew his six gun. But before he could get a clean shot
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rife with misappropriated lego and Miss Moneypenny had to bring in Bond to deal with the situation. The gang of 3 year olds upended their boots full of blocks and Bond threw
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left by the film crew after another day shooting the new Miley Cyrus video, Uncage My Heart. "The last thing I need is another giraffe ride!" Ronnie screamed at me. "You always
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He looked up, puzzled, from the article on dirty politics in the Ukraine. "Nobbler?" What the hell was a "nobbler?" Maybe it was a kind of
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"street urchins made up as candy corn." When they returned to their native land they were greeted by a brass band. It seems there had been a coup and the new regime was happy to
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"Take me wife...please!" He giggled as he signed it with his sticky biro. Then he headed off to his favorite brothel, Bangers and Mash, to pay a visit to Lucinda, who always
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ongated. in other words I shut my emotional self up like a telescope and felt my dreams crunch like frost in the Hungarian forests. Who needs octopi when you've got field mice
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thinking of starting an Eagles cover band and doing the circuit in the Catskills. In between shows I could work on my electric puppet show and you never know, someday I might
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I remember the Eighties. Driving my '73 VW bug back and forth to Baltimore cranking The Police up on the radio. If i knew then that someday I'd be hanging out with Sting and
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Thirty years later and it still burns my butt that I didn't get the part of the Artful Dodger in that production of Oliver. Story of my life. Just a generic street urchin who
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"Hot damn boy, you could sell ice to Eskimos!" cackled Grandpa as I handed him the money. Three long weeks I'd spent putting that deal together and now it seemed
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As I sat there with the dessert menu I thought back to that summer day I'd made myself sick eating the whole bucket of blueberries and the folks at the church picnic never got
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"If I don't come back, light a candle for me," I said brusquely. Her eyes glistened and her chin trembled as I tightened my suspenders. This was certainly going to be
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said, "kid, I know all about you, I know what you're thinking before you do," and he handed me a small package wrapped in brown paper. "Take this to Jim Rickey and tell him to
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My wife sleeps with a plush panda under her head as a pillow and her feet up next to my head. They don't smell, but feeling her toes wiggle against my face is disconcerting.
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I supposed the hookers in Amsterdam would be fast enough for me! I'd heard that the hash bars there were now closed to tourists. But i knew I'd find someone who could hook me up.
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He reached into the bag and grabbed an enchilada. His third. Ok, so had gained some weight since Dottie had left him. He needed something to help him cope with his shitty job!
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of sugary crumbs which tripped and stumbled down my skirt and onto the floor. I began to cry. He looked so surprised. He took me by the shoulders and