Finished Folds (7801—7820)
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2your vagina smells like fisherman's wharf in San Francisco
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0The carrot, a "root" vegetable, had reminded her of Sam Kinison's penis. Years ago, she'd had a night with the gods at the Improv. She had felt the hot charge of groupie sex with
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3stump. She loved womping people with her stump. It was like getting kicked by a mule. She'd hardened her stump by pounding river rocks, it was a 40 pound sack of flour and she
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5paralyzed with fear. How could eyes "Smile?" I forced myself to swallow vomit and remain calm. Sure enough, she had lips in her irises. They were mouths. With teeth. I reached
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2because she was only two. But she was a damned good driver for two. We had her on baby Einstein and that My baby Can Read Program. She was good, except for her alcoholism but
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2lose myself into the person's greatness because I am just that impressionable. I walked around with my eyes closed and ear plugs, just to be like Helen Keller, which pissed my
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2digging up the corpse of Don Knotts. She'd taken a course in necromancy from the Learning Annex, and she wanted to revive someone who could help her career. But his head was gone
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1Rats had made a nest and chewed up the fan belt. But these rats were different. They were wearing loose muscle shirts and truck stop hats. They saw me and said, "Gett'er doooone."
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5For instance, the waiter hovered while they went to the bathroom to wash their hands. He hovered with black pepper when they went out to smoke. He hovered with mushroom gravy
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2bull kelp and abalone. Liza gargled and Barbara Streisand itched the waxy canal of her ear with a bathtub brush. They held each other while Malibu sea foam mimicked urine foam
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0"Too Bad." The meter maid ripped off the ticket and stuffed it in my mouth. So I
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2My cat rubbed itself against my leg when I got home and I drove a javelin through its spine. It's legs curled and writhed like Medusa snakes and I could see a little
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3My wife's parents sat at the dinner table. They judge everything I do. The green beans were tepid, the butter cold, but they liked the meatloaf. I said, "You should it's your daugh
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5When grandma hobbled up to me she put her hands out for a hug and then I sweeped her cane with my judo kick and grabbed her titanium white hair and smashed her head against
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1He aimed the rifle and shot sending a streak of dust through the air. Fat Andy raised his hands. "Kick your gun over here." The gun skidded across the Sonoran desert floor and
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3but then Davey Crocket said, "Brokeback mountain ain't about cowboys, it's about sheep herders. They were herding sheep." Then he turned his wife on her belly to
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1We're never going to survive," and then right as death was upon her, she croaked, "Unless we go a little bit crazy." And that is why I have never gone totally crazy, just a little
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0Then I bit my nail and tasted "Ass."
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1Andy was the other clerk at the patent office. He'd gone to Tulane University and lost his scholarship by daydreaming about sunlight in opium dens. Albert would chat with him and
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1Of course I am a Canadian who visited England for a semester abroad so I am a total expert in accents and pronunciation. I broadcast, "Cheers" instead of thank you, call a sweater