Finished Folds (8561—8580)
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3for nail clippers my dog would be a puddle of marinara right now. But this is how I get back at my boss. I swirl my Dog Dooky finger in his coffee. He thinks he has Crohn's
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3Toon town. I was mayor, sheriff and pharmacist. I've been living in toon town for years, under cover, at night. During the day I pretend to sell overpriced footlongs to
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5The matchbox racer was a gift from his mom's friend. Well he turned out to be her lover. And now, Timmy realized that his real dad was the friend. Daddy just paid the bills and
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1and the tree turned out to be a straight-assed stick. No beginning and no end. Damn. Does this mean I can't keep doing naked push-ups on my sister? He would need
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1The judges were on a lunch break from the court of appeals. This was how they got their rocks off. They didn't notice that referee was actually a clerk from the same department, so
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3elongated man-woman with a voice that could cut butter. Problem is, Burt Reynolds had left with the Dilbert look alike to get "Moons Over My Hammy" at Denny's. So it was
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3I got fired for inhaling "vapors." Basically I was framed by an Assistant Manager named Sal. He couldn't believe my numbers. Thought I was adding a zero, but in reality I zoomed
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3to fans of Alvin and The Chipmunks. Ever since they did that high-pitched version of theme song to the Greatest American Hero people clamor for them. But that will play right
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6I'll never forget the day I had her laminated. The guy at Kinko's looked at me like I was crazy. But I said, this was her dying wish. After that I drug the corpse to
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3inside the rooms, well actually hives. The queen danced around a little, but mostly she laid, giant gelatinous eggs covered in wax. If only she didn't have a human head
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24I had the plane on autopilot. These 747's practically land themselves. Damned navigator tricked me into getting high again. Well this is the last time. Hey was that a
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3beer belly. She gnawed on it. Damn he was hot when he was thin, but that 1000 cases of Bud Ice ago. He was passed out so he couldn't feel her teeth. That's when the flesh broke
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1the someone started using the clocks as masks. They cut holes out of the face and walked around at the party. Cheap bastards, those clocks were not intended to be a costume, they
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1And common sense is just that common, that's why I hate it. If common sense was a dog I'd kick it until it's ribs turned to jelly. Now, what I really like is
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2But then I remembered that I lost my hearing back in the 80's. Worse my eyesight was gone. I refused help. I would crawl around the floor and bang out songs on my
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1band of evil green midgets. They had three arms and one big eye and nostrils that always ran. It looked like mint jelly banging off their knees. They came over and asked
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2Thor's semen. The thunder god wanted to create a bunch of thunder bastards and populate the planet. He was tired of the age old question. Time to put some new
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4hand job." but of course that was Heinlein's brand of humor. He had turned disgusting when joined a surrealist writing game. After that he was obsessed with
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1paid for by the Armenian genocide. The damn Turks had to launder the money some how. They devised a scheme where they would purchase ad time and then
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2environment my ass," she thought. "This trainer is dead," she promised. Do tricks for tiny fish? Bitch I'm a 4 ton killer whale, little fish like that is a sad joke. I'll push you