Finished Folds (8561—8580)
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3to the strip club was always a balm for the wound. He waited until the room was humming with fake eroticism and addiction, then he let a 1000 round pack of firecrackers and
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2Finally they started calling for what everyone knew was the MOST exotic meat on the list-human flesh. At first it was just Toe Poppers, you know, stuffed with cheese and fried then
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3obsession with looking young had forced him to buy cases of pearl cream. He'd wrap lotion laden gauze around his face. She told her friends that Daddy was a burn victim because
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2But the Abandoneer kept calling Dennis, Randy Quaid. She kept telling him how much she loved Christmas Vacation. Dennis couldn't take it. His brother was so much more
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4because they were zen doughnuts. They had trained with Suzuki Roshi, the Apple Fritter had become the abbot of the local Monastery. He had chosen the path of spirituality because
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2But want I lusted after was to rule the Magic Kingdom. They fired me because of uncleanliness? Have they seen the handles on the Dumbo ride. Well now I can plot my revenge on
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2Because if it was her then I didn't do a good enough job of trying to get rid of her. I started out irritable, then turned mean. I'd hang up on her when she was mid-sentence, just
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0wide open. It was a surprise party. Their faces revealed not for him. They spat at him and called him a foul dog. They chased him with bailing wire and tar. They wanted his black
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3new Russian mail order bride. These items reminded her of her brother and so they made her feel at home. She only planned to be married to him long enough for
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2pan flute. I basically wrote Zamfir's whole act. I was his road manager. I had a cancer kazoo. Zamfir would tickle my blow whole, and hold his pan flute next to it. It was the
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2paint the carbuncle on the tip of his penis? It looked like red turd with a pink squash on top. When he squeezed his balls Italian dressing leaked out of his penis lips like
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4But then what about the lesser of two goods? Or the lesser of two mediocres? That's right, I'm a barrista and I am determined to work as little as possible without getting
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1I also remember when finger boards were fun. But now I made her my duct tape wallet. With the tape jammed across her nostrils, it's a wonder she can breathe at all. Should I
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0cousin's colon which had thrown a ticker tape parade for his ass lips. Great, he wins more trophy's. I wish his mom was my mom because then I could
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3for nail clippers my dog would be a puddle of marinara right now. But this is how I get back at my boss. I swirl my Dog Dooky finger in his coffee. He thinks he has Crohn's
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3Toon town. I was mayor, sheriff and pharmacist. I've been living in toon town for years, under cover, at night. During the day I pretend to sell overpriced footlongs to
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5The matchbox racer was a gift from his mom's friend. Well he turned out to be her lover. And now, Timmy realized that his real dad was the friend. Daddy just paid the bills and
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1and the tree turned out to be a straight-assed stick. No beginning and no end. Damn. Does this mean I can't keep doing naked push-ups on my sister? He would need
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1The judges were on a lunch break from the court of appeals. This was how they got their rocks off. They didn't notice that referee was actually a clerk from the same department, so
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3elongated man-woman with a voice that could cut butter. Problem is, Burt Reynolds had left with the Dilbert look alike to get "Moons Over My Hammy" at Denny's. So it was