Finished Folds (41—56)
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1That is, Reagan would have if Bill and Ted's time machine hadn't accidentally killed him on their last adventure. "No idea how the continuum will deal with that," Bill had said.
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4I'm always tackling the big questions, and I have answers. In this case, those answers are: original crust, one has more fat content, and because people are stupid.
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4Stop it. Just.... stop it.
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5"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--" I screamed, then paused to take a deep breath. "--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh." My friend blinked at me. "Wow," she said.
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3"You wanna see who can scream the loudest?" said kid number one. "Sure!" said kid number two, and together they set about to ruin my eardrums, and my life.
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2Personally, I thought $800 for a kid's birthday party was a little much, but Kathy said that everybody who was anybody was hiring Bip the Clown these days. $800! I wonder what
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4Where are you?...I doubt that. ...Because generally the library doesn't play music quite that loudly! ... I'm trying to plan out our next theatrical performance, and you are partyi
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2room back into pristine condition that I didn't bother to deal with the chocolate still stuck to the roof of my mouth, despite the fact that a quick glass of milk would have fixed
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3puffy and red and miserable. I wanted to say, "Speech impairments have no direct cause/effect link to sexual orientation, MOM," but, being cursed with a stutter, I could only say
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2and only then noticed the red-tinged rash sprouting on my hand and arm. "My god," I mumbled, "Perhaps I DO have the plague!" Meanwhile, the man turned and ran away as fast as he
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5by some alien energy source that was clearly not connected to the city's utility grid. If he was to have a chance of defeating the evil scanner and its rogue AI, he would need
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4followed by visions of gigantic pink elephants rampaging to the tune of the William Tell Overture. Some distant corner of his brain he knew he was slipping into madness, but
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4I looked at myself in the mirror, desperate for a clue as to my identity. I was disappointed to see I was not a celebrity (I think) nor particularly attractive.
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4Testament of William Tassler (that's my real name) was written on Jan 1, 2012. By the end of the year I will be dead in the manner already described. My final wish is
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6"That can't be good for the sewage system," Craig remarked, but I ignored him. I knew it had to be done. After all, the aliens had made their intentions clear, no matter that they
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4pope's hat, which had tumbled to the pavement nearby, neatly on the pontiff's lifeless chest and stood up, unsure of what to do next. Inside his cab, his fare was growing restless