Finished Folds (221—240)
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3moles living under my house. This is the very reason I breed grubs & moles, after all. Then I'll harvest your liver for the pate' I'm making for Christmas Eve. Happy Holidays!
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0, um, taste. He smiled the widest smile I'd ever seen. "Do you really think so?" I nodded, sidling up to a dusty statuette displayed in the corner. "This junk right here, for exa
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1room. "It's, um..." I stammered. "Never mind," she snapped. "I know what it is, ya dumbass. Ya think I was born yesterday?" We laughed together until we cried. What a woman!
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3abusive and Lord knows I didn't need any more of that in my life...what's left of it anyway. "I only have 2 weeks left," I explained to her with patience she didn't deserve.
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3gathered together to discuss matters (over apple dumplings &coffee, of course) & decided to take action. 2days later Majandu & Udnajam sat at the table with the Cracker Barrel Gang
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4she was me. I was her. I was she. And she was a narcissist. I looked at her in the mirror &held up the photo. She smiled. I smiled back. I felt better. But then she tore my photo
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3wobbled a bit on their skates & (sort of) waved back as they performed their Disney On Ice parody, drawing the juicy neighborhood children out of hiding. Then...yeah, they partook.
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8Until today. At exactly 2:17 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, the "prisoner" was set free by Mother Earth. Almost immediately the rumblings began from deep within the earth's mantle.
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5mechanic with exotropic eyes. "Are you talking to me?" he asked. "Or...um...who?" The man looked around. When he turned back around, Ned was IN HIS FACE. "YOU, BUB!" Ned said.
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6scream, which made all of them scream, which made everyone in the restaurant scream! The lights flickered &power went down. Breaking glass. A WHOOSH. Two gunshots. More screams.
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4looked around the alien landscape one last time before climbing aboard."I'm not the man they think I am at home," he mused & 2 seconds later he was waving good-bye to them forever.
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6Across the way, an old woman was selling marijuana nosegays. It was all so...quaint! And look! A donkey wearing a hat! Enchanting! I was sweating now like a big ol hairy dog.
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5t was if... Wait a minute. Sudden alarm coursed through me. I looked up & around. The garden was perfect and peaceful. TOO perfect. TOO peaceful. "I'm dead!" I realized.
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7on my broomstick and take to the sky. "Sheesh!" I mumbled, flying past the moon. "Why do we have to go through this every damn Halloween?" and waved gaily from above.
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6It was then that I realized I was in Congress and that Mitch McConnell had just poked his head out of his shell. "Is there something you wanted to say?" he asked me.
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8Manna was now corn dogs.The apostles, their white robes gray & dingy, were sittin' around playin' poker & smokin' cigars.Satan was pissed. "Now wait one cotton-pickin' minute, God.
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3"I should have been a marriage counselor instead of working here at KFC," the KFC employee thought to herself for the umpteenth time. Karen kept rambling. "Just TELL me, OK?!"
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2leave the bodies exactly as they had fallen. It would take years for the cops to figure this out, so why sweat it? She slung a money-stuffed backpack over one shoulder & headed out
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3change into her she-wolf self. Creeping silently through the moonlit night, she glanced back for a moment, wondering...wishing...then turned and disappeared into the dark woods.
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3Rick, revealing himself from behind the drapery."I've been here all along & now I know the truth! You never wanted to be my "date"!" He stormed off & found himself a bran new girl.