Finished Folds (5781—5800)
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3he flared his nostrils at them, distant and disdainful. Oh, but Bret was not humorless for no good reason. Wanda was the reason he was too serious. She had stolen not only his
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5wearing a tutu. Newt craned his head to watch the vulture come swooping down on him, pecking at him until he was forced to watch an awkwardly arid version of Swan Lake. Sweating,
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1mimicking the Doobie Brothers. So they packed up and traveled to China Grove, Texas, where they encountered a fish out of water. No opimum here, no sirree, bob. Everyone had
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5"But this," he crowed as he held up a yellow-spotted codpiece, "This I can pair with other things I have in my closet." Happy it was on sale, the prehistorics took their purchases
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2hairdryer and turned it on him. "You may never, ever, touch my hair again." I left then, without paying and knocked all the bottles of OPI off the counter as I stormed out.
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4One sunny morning, I looked into the mirror and noticed that for absolutely no reason at all, a toenail was imbedded into my forehead. Either that, or it grew there. "Odd..." I
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1of human consciousness motivated her to call the White House and ask for Bob. All androids know that "Bob" is a code name for Ronald Reagan and that Reagan is alive and well. She
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1between my teeth because I had lost my teeth along the way. Closer, closer...almost there. I heaved my 398 pound mound of flesh over the precipice, the drumbeats now behind me as
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4Jean's choir robe had snagged on the corner of the pew, causing her to stumble between amens. "Jesus Christ!" She'd said it out loud, then noted Father Fister's disapproval.
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4, well, even joy because (after all), I love buttercream icing and I blew out all of the candles in one breath. Never mind that the weekend was slightly marred by the behavior of
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3We've got miles to go before we sleep. "Miles to go before we sleep?" she asked frostily. "I thought I saw two roads up there, though. See the yellow woods?" I know these woods
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2make a difference in his riffs? Maybe. Still (as usual) he couldn't get no satisfaction. "I'll take chocolate chip," he replied to Simmons. "And don't breathe on it. I haven't
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4"Now, now," his grandmother admonished. "You must refrain from such talk." Nana took the knife from his hand and replaced it with a ladle, leading him from his dark closet into t
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1and he knew without at doubt that this would be the biggest, best snowcone he'd ever lick. One lone howler monkey ski bunny glided by him, unaware of history about to be made. He
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3thwarted his ability to articulate long words until he could only utter short grunts. Ugggh. Ooomph. Rheep. His mind, however, was another story. Laura flung the guide into a
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4and peered under. Yep, it was them again, seeking (no doubt) the Gouda he had hidden in the bottom drawer of the fridge. Dammit! He'd been so careful! Silently he arose and tip
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3a kitten, soft and prone to tangling. Oh yes, she tickled my fancy alright, especially when she poured the syrup into my coffee and stirred creamer into my short stack. Just then
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6by the innocuous Italian sausage that lay there. From that moment on and for the rest of her life, people she'd meet would look at that scar and wonder, for the scar resembled a
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1I struggled, then executed the most human reaction I could muster: I kissed her lightly on her blue-grey lips. Nothing. No reaction. Turning, ambling away, I disappeared 4ever.
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3Snatching a handful of cockroaches and stuffing them into my mouth, I remembered too late that I had forgotten to bring my dental floss. Will she be turned off by the site of the