Finished Folds (121—140)
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4The card was still wet from when I watched him pull it out of the crick. It didn't even have anything on it. "Listen," I said, slapping the gum out of his hand. "This is the deal.
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2He could have chosen many others--Sounds of the Zoo, Sounds of the Trailer Park, Sounds of the Landfill. Did he choose wrong? Doc fingered madly through his CDs while Candy took
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3plify my vision with steroid injections created by rogue, black market chemists. Strawberry quick. That's what they call it. The giant baby stood up and said in a manly voice, "
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1. I saddled my Saber-toothed armadillo and got into my spaceship. Oh, he just likes wearing the saddle because it makes him feel important. Anyway, I figured my mission would be
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5started in the Summer of...uhh...in the Summer of...or was it the Winter? Ah! It was the Spring! I remember because I had a spring in my step! Yes! So it was Fall, and I remem
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1Judging from the pubic hairs that seemed to morph into an ocean on the floor, he probably would have called it Pubic Transportation. I felt at ease. The sound of my train was
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4"So, if I can pronounce your name correctly, you will buy my entire inventory of rat testicles and Hornet Killer?" She nodded. Ok, I thought. I knew it started with Gjyu, but
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1for?" A face emerged from behind the enormous ass, like the end of a solar eclipse. It stared at me. "Is this your desk?" I nodded. "Well, it is not up to office specification
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4yet methodically. I started to walk out and thought, This is my chance! C'mon, just strike a conversation, you wimp! "Bet that job is a Neverending Story, eh?" Ugh. Idiot.
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5e yelled. In a flash of light Satan appeared. "Look, dude, it's silk. He paid a lot of money for it and doesn't want it to get ruined." "Oh," said the priest. "Guess that's ok."
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10Frederick fished, fairly fraught from ferocious food. Forgiving Felicity for fondly following Frank, Frederick fastened feathers for fast flight. Frederick flew freely from Franc
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5But that didn't stop him from becoming a small town plastic surgeon. He told me he taught himself how to "plastically surgurize people." I didn't believe anyone would let such a
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3rth it to take my own life, rather than die by the hand of a smelly, illiterate, browbeaten ogress. I was worth twice as much alive than dead. The cyanide burned my tongue.
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7he was staring at the Turkey God's reflection. Before he had time to react all he heard was "BAAAKAAAWWWWK!!!" A piercing pain. A warm substance streamed down his face.
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5favorite motivational audio book: "How to Get Ahead When You Don't Have an Axe." My favorite part was coming up. I recited it aloud. The old man came back with a crowbar.
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5"Rasshshsaaah kaa waaa!" It started clapping its butt ferociously. Snot was flying everywhere. He needed to get out of there and fast. He slid to his Prius and floored it
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7It stopped dead in its tracks and cocked its head. It pointed at my fangs. It pointed at his fangs. Then it started clapping hysterically. I nodded my head. "Yeah, me too," I
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5went hunting for Bigfoot. There were a few sightings, but nothing conclusive. "Maybe we should just play some volleyball instead," suggested one. "That's what all the scallywags
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5walls and furniture. He unzipped his pants. This whole room would be his soon. He peed on John's guitar. He peed on John's cutlery. Then he peed on John. Everyone just stood
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4A dull thud. I got more leverage and tried again. Thud. Thud. I wondered if they could hear me. Thud. Thud. Thud. CRACK! The sound of the road hit my ears. I reach throug