Finished Folds (2661—2680)
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1his hooves and cuffed the cloned calf on the ear. "Nobody messed with a minotaur!" he bellowed. The calf would have called for his Mama if he had one, but he didn't. So he called
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5"I just ate the three pigs," the wolf told the barista, "what kinda coffee is good after the other white meat?" The barista curled her lip, obviously a vegetarian. "Help us!" squea
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6va-va-voom figure that could only belong to... a Living Barbie! But was she alive, or just plastic? In the dead air it was hard to tell. The studio audience held its breath as she
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0chopped off his own nose, but chicks love guys who don't smell. There was no way around it, women were going to fall for him no matter what he did. He even "turned" gay, but that
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4And with that, Sgt. Smitty inhaled the poor fool into his huge, muscular nostrils. Inside Smitty's sinus cavities, the naysayer dwelled for some time. It was cramped in there, but
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4they accused me of being "on the rag". So I sang "Old Rag Mountain" to them at the top of my lungs until they all scuttled away like the scallywags they were. No ragout for them!
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3-turn it to its proper receptacle. So Taipan took a week off from work to rest. As she rested, she realized that she didn't want to have to worry about her job ever again. So she
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4-ute couture fashion shows. Yves Saint-Laurent hired the Caphuchin monkeys to play at his Fall show, but they showed up completely blitzed and hurled all over the catwalk.
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3nun breasts when, as a child, a nun had leaned over to slap his wrists. The last thing Magoo ever saw clearly were those holy hooters suddenly thrusting towards him. Ever since
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3, but it wasn't active." Just thinking of being boiled from the inside out made her think of that scene in Infinite Jest when the father sticks his head in the microwave. Fantods!
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4the Hindsight Squad, who clamped Commander Data in irons and brought him downstairs to the shredder. Data promised never to commit hindsight again, but then added that they should
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2hoi polloi. These promises were so flimsy that the invisible visions of Planet I could not even use them as air and eventually they suffocated. Tiny Berta dreamt of their demise
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4-ad his social diseases among half the city, handing them out like Halloween candy. But he had since changed his ways. He was clean. She knew it. But she still wanted revenge.
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5Once or twice he almost cried out, but after it was over he went back to his home, made some Ramen noodles and sat for a long time, just staring at the images in his sad mind.
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6So I walked away with my head held high. With no income I became a hobo and re-named myself Scott Free. The last laugh was mine, but it was a toothless one.
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6because they kept trying to peck at the bugs on the outside of their windshields as they drove. Finally a bright bird-kind opened up a drive-through that featured dead bugs. This
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2everything." Doc Jones wore biscuit-flavored Axe in his pits every day. He was mystified as to why so many dogs followed him around the park as he jogged. This was a turn-off for
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3dry sponges to soak up all that oil. "Gee, Wally," said th' Beav, "I guess that's why you have so many pimples and stuff." Wally's eyes narrowed. I knew that there would be trouble
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5and incense and began to pray. "Dear Dog," Timmy began, "Please make me pots seeing things sdrawkcab." The dog looked at him, confused. "Tis!" barked Timmy. Startled, the dog
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6best appeased by a heaping plate o' spuds. And in space, no-one can smell their own feet. I don't know what this has to do with the story, but there it is. Melted butter dripped