Finished Folds (3161—3180)
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1all their subsequent progeny came out consistently twisted and purple. It took years, but it was worth it. And no-one bothered me again. Especially since I was now only a torso.
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4as they might, none of them made it into the International Olympic Tumbling Team and they had to give back the money they were going to spend on matching mustard yellow unitards.
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5"To pee or not to pee," Hamlet Hamster will recite, gazing solemnly at the cedar chips, "that is the question." And wait until you see the Ophelia suicide scene with the water bot
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3a skeleton could smoke. "I don't inhale," he explained. "Then why are you smiling?" I asked. "It's just an illusion," he said, "since I don't have lips. Really, I am quite sad."
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4payment of their electricity bill. So remember kids, paying your utility bills is just self-slavery. Once they were free of YouTube they found that they were also starving. They
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5Suddenly Faat Aalbert fell from the sky, crushing the Swedish band. "Aaaaaaa!" they yelled in Swedish as the last bit of air escaped their lungs. "Haay haay haay," said Aalbert,
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6but when I turned around, what was following me was Sha Na Na, the retro do-wop group! "Get a Job, shana-nana," they sang rather loudly in a cappella. I tried to shush them, but
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2But Doc Martens were great for stomping grapes. Just ask the hooligan stompers at the Skinhead Vineyard. "Drink our wine or we'll pound your face" was their motto. They made a fine
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3blasted her with squid ink and propelled her from the floating pen. Marvin looked down at his shirt. It was covered in ink, his pen was busted and an angry queen stood beside him.
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2love beads, nearly choking me as he dragged me to the nearest barbershop for a haircut, which he paid for with money from my wallet. After I was all cleaned up he kicked me
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10and yelled "Roll!" I rolled toward her, smothering my flames, before I noticed the platter of fresh rolls in her hands. "You saved my life, Mrs. McGurk," I said, taking a roll.
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2proper punctuation and she wants it punctually!" said Hoobler. "That doesn't make grammatical sense!" said Looper. "Shut up both of you, all I want is hot sea monkey love!" she
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6yelled as Madge came after him with a full bottle of Nair, hell-bent on making his hairy face smooth as a baby's bottom and ready for full lipstick and blush. He lifted his kilts
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6and began to applaud and pogo along with him, completely overlooking the gushing yo-yo cut on his finger. "Call a doctor!" he yelped, and they all tried to high-five him instead.
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6simulating underwear he wouldn't be in this predicament, but he hadn't so much forgotten as he thought that the extra padding would make him look like a "tumpy" female cartoon cat
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4(We had thought it would be obvious what was in Hot Rice #2, but after several complaints we had to remove it from the menu and offer Hot Rice #1, which wasn't much better.)
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0The dog licked the policeman's face and the cop said "Get along, you little scamp!" and shooed him into his dog house, where he waited until everyone had left before snickering.
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2loved the color brown. It was the color of fish, and Chilly Willy loved fish. But since there were no purple fish, he wasn't so into the color purple. Dopey penguin!
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4They ate their fill of the dead flesh, but the souls they hungered for were out of their reach. So the creatures died of starvation with full bellies, and rotted where they lay.
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2The floozies and men paid cash. The memories didn't even pay attention, as they were lost in the vast sea of time.