Finished Folds (3181—3200)
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1-th time when someone picked up. In a panic, I blurted out "How many children under the age of four live at your home?" "Seven," answered the voice. "Thank you," I hung up.
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3crappie was served, which was the falcon's favorite fish, but as it was a moonless night and everything was painted black, the falcon had to use his sense of smell to find it.
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1whoopie and was no longer technically a maiden. Now she was an iron lady. My iron lady. Actually, she did my ironing for me, but as she cooled, so did our relationship.
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3signpost that read "The Twilight Zone" by now. We should have hit the brakes when we saw Rod Serling. Oh crap- there's Burgess Meridith! We'll just have to deal with it.
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1live and breathe, you shall never go hungry again. And they didn't, seeing as they died soon after eating the hot pockets, since their stomachs had not been primed for modern crap.
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1"Now hear this!" the Commissar's mother yelled, hoisting her skirts up and (after some effort) pushing a tremendous cloud of gas from her behind towards him. It was horrific.
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1herself, meaning that her cranium got lodged in her pelvis. (This is a different from being beside one's self.) Marilyn went on to become a darling of the Freak Show circuit.
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3ceiling fan, which by then was about two inches from the floor. Mitty felt his heart beating, kunka kunka kunka, and then it went squee, then huff. Mitty was dead as a dormouse.
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4-o show him that I was a piano conjurer so that he would think I was a classy guy, but Garruk just stared at all the pianos until finally asking me "Ya got any banjoes?"
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3-to heaven, guided by the ghost of David Bowie, who knows a thing or two about tinnitus and has taken over for Peter Pan, who is on vacation in Neverland. That sentence killed me.
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0my mind but my body could not touch it. So I lay there listening as the fire engulfed me, trying to piece together how I might write about it if I survived. I did not.
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0She was pregnant and waving goodbye to her boyfriend, who was leaving by train for Hollywood where he was sure he'd become an overnight sensation. She never saw him again.
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8I'm glad to hear you are better, Rebbie. I, for one, look forward to your folds. I may be a deluded hag who imagines shirtless avatars are her buddies, but I have my pride. Next,
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3or having a Scavenger hunt on the planet Bluptune. They had displayed their strange and wonderful items on the lawn of the governor's mansion and were soon arrested and put in
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3Universe's entourage during her tour of her realm. Miss Universe felt that their Bihumanist family would best represent the people of Earth. No-one was prepared for the reaction
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3-quist's yacht. Don Sundquist was the 47th Governor of Tennessee, and sometimes wore a tuxedo but knew nothing about Tennessee Tuxedo or any other cartoon penguin. Philistine.
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3but patience helps even more, as it is years between a lemon seed's germination and the plant producing fruit. Just go out and buy one of those plastic lemons if you can't wait.
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1too bad for them, 'cos they're stuck here, now. We Earthians have only one nose, one butthole, one brain, you know why? 'Cos we don't need no spare parts! We're quality work. Word.
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1Cooking and eating for one was a lonely job, but soon after I finished my delicious curry I was glad I was alone. All night long I was glad. The next day I set out to find love.
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6This method was effective enough until I spoke with the leader of Communist China, who neither believed in a god or in pizza bagels. We settled on Egg Fu Yung at Lucky Dragon.