Finished Folds (321—340)
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1Todd had an affair with Misa the crazy cat lady. Theda knew about it the moment she found the cat hair on his underwear. Theda left Todd and ran straight into the arms of Gordo,
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5-um of the mind through the loading dock, where I could pay minimum wage to have them hauled in by the ton. That way I would have to do no work and could bask in my genius without
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0the channels desperately looking for a reason not to be scared silly about returning to Earth to save its people. News? Forget it! Talent programs? Ew! Murder Mysteries? Bleah!
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3but a brief vacation upwards from the seventh circle of Heck that is their lives. It's not even Purgatory. That lasts longer. It's a rip-off, too, because you can still see fragmen
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3And that's why we at Motel 6 have decided to burn all our buildings to the ground. Well, that and the insurance. Oh dear, we've said too much. Is this mic on? Oh well,
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2"Plus, it freshens the air with that burning children's flesh aroma," said Grandma, just before Junior threw her wig in the fire and went to get the Neosporin. "Stop arguing!" said
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2on whether or not they were into Disco. But no matter how groovy, no boogying raisin in its right mind wanted to toss itself into the chocolate ice cram, which had constricted
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2The red phone on Julia's cloud desk began to buzz. "Ghost of Julia Child, how may I help you," she said. "There's a guy down on earth about to injure himself with an oven. You've
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1golf cart, I placed a grape in my golf shoe, with hopes it would convince the others that I still had all ten toes. Being easily fooled, they waved me through, but when I raised my
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0is considered a bad omen when a stuffed giraffe with one eye lashes itself to the mast," the little tin bosun muttered under its breath as he lowered the sails. But the captain
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2Sure enough, Li'l 50₵ grew up to be a gastroenterologist. He was highly regarded in his field for accurate colonoscopy readings, but people tended to think that because of his name
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3waved the expensive pen before the maid's eyes, and the shiny thing hypnotized the poor girl. She walked down the bloody hotel hallway and began to scrub the gore off the walls.
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1-eryone knew that the Minsky's Flying Buttress Pie that the Cafe-bot was now attempting had only been successfully created once. This gave Johann and his crew a chance to catch up
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4places to pick up lost souls. "Easy pickin'," Mammon muttered gleefully as he flitted toward the rocking vans in the last row of the Drive-In. But when he flung open the doors,
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2I gave up on men the day my husband refused to let me have that red toaster," cried Myrtle. "Well, take it out on him, not me," said Hermoine. That was the last day that Myrtle
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3turned to see Oxy the Geek standing at the back of the congregation, his arms outstretched. The bearded lady's eyes filled with tears. She had always loved him, not this pig farmer
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1-as to succeed. But as he watched his possessions move through the judgemental badgers, Jame felt his temper rise up in spite of his best efforts. "Jame, your stuff is junk!" one
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2stadium seating, which was shiny, but uncomfortable to sit on for long periods. Even so, people came from miles around to sit on them, hoping that a game of baseball might start.
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5walking back into my circus after all this time? "Because you've made a fool of all clowns everywhere, Toodles," Jimbles said as he wiped my spit from his cheek, smearing his
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3"Yes," said Norman, "but I only wear them to have them handy in case I have to swat flies." "Well, they don't quite go with that purse," they commented, in unison. Norman was taken