Finished Folds (3601—3620)
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3"Most likely?" I interrupted, "Do you mean to say that you don't actually know for sure that you had someone murdered?" Just then an angel appeared at the window.
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5Later that year we had a sizable earthquake and my earthquake-proof building became the largest serving of onion dip, ever. People with corn chips came from miles around to enjoy
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5belied the tender nature of their redwood tree hearts. "By Gawd, we've missed you," they cried when they saw me, and their branches embraced me. I was passed to the treetops and
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5to his job at the Clamato cannery. Satan Claus was embarrassed about not winning the election, but his co-workers were sensitive to his emotional needs. After a while they all
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2and a sprinkle of light depression. Blend until doubled in volume. Place in freezer over night. Do not climb into the freezer with it. In the morning spread over a warm bagel.
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2climbed into our graves and wrote our Last Wills and Testaments. I left everything to my sea monkeys, who have been dead since I was a child. Just to piss off my kids.
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6a major motion picture starring that guy that's in everything, but only the dead ghost gets the royalties. My uncle and I get nothing. Now is the winter of our economic discontent.
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2was not only in my mind, but in my spleen as well. When I vented my spleen she was gone for a while. I almost missed her.
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4by all the bum-bums lying all over his front yard, which is weird, because dogs usually love all things butt-oriented. But Dude was no ordinary dog. He believed himself to be
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3last thing they would have expected from themselves, given their humble origins. Once just a jar of moonshine on the porch would have made them happy, but now they were only
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3risk having my legs chewed off every time I take a dip in the ocean, so I try not to cross Shark Lady. Life is, and my legs are, too short. So when it is Shark Lady's birthday I
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1Janet Horseradish is a spaz. One time I was talking to her and she had spinach in her teeth. Don't get me started on her shoes. Do you want this person to be your next Senator?
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3past him and hang my head out there, too but the stench of the sweaty streets made me topple backwards onto the copy machine. The Ugandan Therapist turned and smiled at me.
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6Steven. The answer is Steven. Have a happy weekend!
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2was only too happy to see him go, since all of her glasses had been broken by the high notes on his recordings. People who live in glass houses shouldn't play opera music.
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3friend the Mushroom Crone (a green witch), who suggested to substitute liverwort, and that seemed to work better for a while, until the creature began to complain to her of
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6sick of Dr. Spock's un-asked-for baby advice that she took her four toddlers and wedged them between two trees for a while so she could get some work done. Hsu-shi was not a bad
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5I say goodbye to my humble old cocoon, where I had laid low all those months, and take off clumsily into the sky. Oh well, I'll get the hang of flying when I feel less sleepy.
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1had always bored the heck out of Herman. He preferred to be out in the field observing nature in its living glory. That's how he came to be camping under the stars the night that
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3But do they Viking astronauts care that they've killed you? No! All they care about is doing wheelies with their space ships in your wheat fields and confounding the scientists.