Finished Folds (3981—4000)
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3If you've ever seen anyone have to suck the venom out of another person's eyes, you'd know what I've been through. I'll never forget that night. The paper. The eye-sucking. Blech.
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6She died an old maid. Most people wondered why no flowers would grow on her grave, but one person knew why. What a weirdo he was. She was right to rebuff his advances.
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5The bullet caught Wilbur in the left forearm, right where a blood clot had been forming over the years. Mr. Ed had saved Wilbur's life, by accident. He'd meant to kill him.
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2half understand Pynchon's writing, but at least we had something to root for. Then someone brought up David Foster Wallace and we were all back to where we'd started.
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4change out of the meters. With this money he was able to buy a home in Malibu, where he lived until it fell into the ocean the next day. Karma bit his foolish butt, didn't it?
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4I felt so bad for the crying clown that I shot Squakers and served him to the clown with a nice white sauce. Unfortunately the clown was a vegetarian and cried even harder.
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6so I hit it back. That's when the Great Spirit deemed me "uncool" and I was sent to the land of things that crawl. After an eon or two of good behavior, I returned to the world
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5bridge. Mango lie in gutter. Mango just pawn in game of life. Mango decide to change life. Mango go to Narcotics Anonymous. Mango get better. Mango go kill fake friends. Mango go
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3I burned him with hot pokers, but he would not talk. He did begin to buzz, though and it took me a while to figure out that he was a mosquito, himself. I was repelled. And itchy.
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3fed me and called me George, even though that's not my name. I felt sorry for her, sitting there all confused, but backed away and ran for the door before she hit me with a bottle.
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1He had planned to study clowning under Boingeaux, the great French clown, but the harsh light of reality was that Boingeaux charged a lot for lessons. So he had to resume his caree
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1"From your head down to your toes / You have but one set of reptilian clothes..." warned his mother, clearly tired of scrubbing the stains off his scales. He rolled his slit eyes
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2"But if I DON'T tell you everything, you WILL be afraid to saw me in two?" I asked. She put down the chainsaw. "Aw crud," she said, "let's just go get some coffee." Jerry's Java
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4Dr. Calamari was shocked at Dr. Caligari's suggestion. "Are we not fish?" he asked, his tentacles waving. Dr. Caligari secretly rolled his eyes at me, but being vegan I, too, was
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4Africa decided that it would be the Nautilus' last mission. Acting quickly, it absorbed the craft into it's heart, where vines strangled it and lions tore it to bits. The crew
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1Even though they were making mucho bucks pasting back together any which way. These grumpy doctors attached my sister's sinuses to her chest cavity and then billed us for $70K.
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4Yes, the Cinnabon Turnover, the very latest in low-impact suicide methods for those "who want to go down slow" (as the song says). Average achievement of death is usually
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5way as he was barreling toward a buffet table. The Donald tripped over me and landed face-down in a lemon gelatin salad with carrots in it. His face tightened into a knot as he
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6-ward into the universe and sure enough, the Little Sisters of Nosiness came speeding by on their unicycles to see what was the matter. "I'm hungry and frozen," he told them.
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3goodness it was colorful in there! Since no-one was looking (any more, obviously), I hacked out a portion of the lavatory wall and attempted to sell it as art. It was picked up