Finished Folds (4381—4400)
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3that smelled of Worchestershire sauce and Chanel #4. The Reverend Mother mistrusted Sister Nutrena, but could not tell her to leave, so she put her on kitchen duty. Sister Nutrena
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2Back then you could count on combs to be black, just black. None of these fancy-pants comb colors we have now. Raymond pulled up his bootstraps and entered the Time Machine
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2spattered in his face. But Fabio knew that pigeon shit was good for his hair, and smeared it over his golden locks. "Ew," exclaimed the jury, and asked the judge for a recess
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3But one day she tried to bathe their baby, Tiny Bubba, in the bathtub gin by mistake. This did not kill him, but made Tiny Bubba into a ukulele star almost overnight. People came
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6As his dinner lay dying on its plate, the Al Pacino impersonator read it its last rites while simultaneously dousing it with gravy. "Why don't you taste it first?" asked his mother
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4haywire and cover up all my numerical misdeeds. I shut the mathematics department door and hailed a cab to the airport, where I took the first plane to the Yucatan
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1Well, the gloves were marked "AS IS" and were in a clearance bin, but I bought them and put them on and suddenly I could see straight through the atmosphere and into the stars.
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4Mr. Goofy looked up to heaven and thanked The Great Whatever that he had finally been born into this world, toxic and fume-filled as it was. "It's time I got married," said
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2Love. But it had to be the love of newborn baby skunks with their stink-bags removed, or the whole recipe was shot. Julia Child once tried to replace it with carmelized onions, but
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2food was equally dismal, nonetheless. You'd think that inTexas hamburgers would be better, but they are just as grey and mealy as anywhere else. Grandma blamed the vegetarians for
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4that had fallen out of her eighth floor apartment and had landed in a tree outside. The stockings made a fine hammock for Mouse King and he enjoyed a stiff drink and a gentle wind
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4they had known and loved her from stories on other exquisite corpse websites. The gas masked socialite rapped her umbrella on the countertop and demanded
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3advised him to just continue dancing, so he promptly danced himself off the nearest cliff. Ron was blamed (or shall we say given full credit) for this sudden turn of events. He
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4I decided to move away from this dirty city, somewhere where the trees stayed put and the children stayed in school. I frantically searched online for such a magical place, but
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3semi-symmetrical appearance that I didn't much care for, myself. I told her that I preferred the angular look and she gave me the stink-eye, in a very roundabout way. So I told
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3(At this point my mom gave me a stern lecture about being sassy with her and sent me to my room.) So here I am in my room with nothing but my phone to complain to the world about
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4. Well, they underestimated the lot of us. Instead of attacking each other we decided to go to Starbucks and talk about the interviewer rudely behind his back. We won, after all.
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2Known to most as "Big Boy", Comrade Bob had stood in front of a restaurant for thirty years, gradually lulling the neighborhood into a false sense of complacency. Soon it would be
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1They were eaten, one by one by a thieving weasel and were digested into pure evil weasel energy. This did not escape the attention of the eagle, who watched
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5The local morgues were stuffed to the gills with whole audiences of people who had laughed themselves to death. Many people blamed Soupy Sales for this sudden uptick