Finished Folds (581—600)
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4I am going to put this bullet between my teeth and chomp down on it as hard as I can. Then you'll be sorry, and so will your murderous elephant friend. You'll have to clean up
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1Alas, Elizabeth was no Mary Poppins. She beat the royal children, but King Paulinus X didn't mind, as long as they learned their spelling. Prince Johann was black and blue but read
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2toward a faint light they spotted, which turned out to be a Frederick's of Hollywood on a desert island. They were saved, but had to wear peek-a-boo teddies because these were the
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3-nte Sauce!" "Curiouser and curiouser!" said Alice as she and the Hatter fled through what appeared to be the opening title sequence of 'CHiPs', dodging and sweating bullets.
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4get it (and quite frankly, neither do I, but I don't think I'm in this story). "Maybe we're in a time or space warp," suggested Emma as she and her daughter reassembled the truck.
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5"Turn that trash off!" snapped Mother as she yanked the plug out of the wall. "But Ma, I was doing research for my sexual devieancy exam tomorrow!" She gave me the stink eye.
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3toaster. How the heck was I gonna fix my bagels in the morning now that I was blind and toaster-less? I blamed society, and took to walking the streets wearing a sign which read:
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1with their alien manicures, and could do nothing to stop the Earth man from doing something weird with their queen out of sheer ignorance. After the queen ate the rest of the Earth
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6Rules for Tea: 1) Elbows off the table. 2) Pinkies raised. 3) Carbonated and/or alcoholic beverages not allowed, unless concealed in teacup. 4) NO COFFEE! 5) Animals must wear
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4-ied by having been manufactured in North Dakota and was therefore "inauthentic". "So's your Mom!" yelled Inga, who claimed to have been taught quesadilla-making by a Guatemalan
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7and though he tried to remain neutral, he let out a small gasp. (Balthazar gave Gaspar a small warning kick.) Melchior, however, was outraged, and shouted "Hey! I didn't come all
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4"We are the guardians of her hidden flower! If you are to reach it, you must first pass by us!" I was taken aback by the dreadful pus-filled buboes, but could hear her flower sing
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0personalities, complete with demented salmon (some with Freudian beards) leaping up his waterfalls. Her personalities fell in love with his personalities and together they formed
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2-y is a very rude word in Penguinese. The emperor penguins stormed into the Automat and bought me another piece of banoffee pie, but charged my account for it, the brutes. I ate it
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2their insufficient vocabulary. Alas, the bobbies are woefully inept at putting together even the shortest sentence. "Just a spoonful of grammar makes the criminals behave," I told
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3But I wasn't looking, and ran over Truly Scrumptuous's legs, which shattered like pralines. But she was packing. Bang bang! She hit he in the arm. What a Chitty day this turned to
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1on their heads and showing off for Mrs. Lem, who looked away, unimpressed. "Why don't you gentlemen, police and Charlie Sheens all go jump off a cliff," she suggested. With that
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4My brother Jon-Jon, for one, and my sister Peggy Beth. Idiots, the both of them. Me, I'm just plain nuts. Intelligent, but out of my gourd. Dr. Beatty tells me that I lost my
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3-uspected that Arthur was depressed. "Grieve not, my lord," Sir Perronicus told him, "for thou hast lived another day and that is enough. Plus, you're married to a honey." Arthur
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4(only instead of a green thumb it was actually a green neck stump, from which nutrients would pass onto the plants). Yes, the horticultural genius of the satisfied male mantis was