Finished Folds (601—620)
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4Then the perfect answer came to me: we would star Matt Damon in a movie about a guy who is a crappy actor! Stunned critics gave him rave
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2essential to a student's sense of self-worth." But the teacher gave Raiden the catboy a cold, green, leafy stare. "We were discussing Vegenology," she said as she poked him with a
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7Dr. Gluckman discovered the time loop which Michael interrupted by placing his semen into Mama Anders, which resulted in his being his own dad. Hitman Anders went on to murder his
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9cake, then the ghosts of Duncan Hines and Betty Crocker will rise from their graves and batter our eardrums with their banshee screams." But Pastor Mike was nuts and the Satan boys
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5puffins objected to having Greenland cordoned off to them, even if it meant the eventual demise of all mankind due to a continuance of WWII. They couldn't get to their favorite
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1the disrespect he got in Navy training camp. Just because he was cojoined twins with Beelzebub didn't mean he could not be an officer and a gentleman! So Jonah and his demonic bro
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2could say "violence is naughty", Tuco had snatched the knife back from him and thrown his beer in Bert's face. "That beer tasted like peepee anyway!" Tuco jeered before he leapt
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2very profound thoughts, while the humans could only think about how many people had 'liked' them on social media. The chimps gave up, built themselves a space ship and launched
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4I watched triumphantly through my bomb-proof screen door as the diverted bomb bounced back from whence it came. I heard a faraway curse in a foreign language just before it detonat
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2have been told "that shit smells like a cigar". Back when I worked for Chanel I developed a fragrance called "Stogey Butt", which I thought was fabulous, but my boss did not. I was
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1But were they really sexual favors, or was there some sort of quid pro quo? He wasn't sure any more. He just felt dirty. Grandma noticed how often he washed his hands, and asked if
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5music record collection, which she had sold in order to buy a used station wagon for the Sisters of Perpetual Motion (or "Perps" for short). I chose not to argue with them, as they
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3And he tossed that cookie aside in favor of stuffing his face with treats, then later tossed those cookies over the side of the boat. The native girl and I escaped and are now wed.
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3threw on my cloak of invisibility and held my breath as my enraged mother huffed past me, still swinging the sledgehammer and muttering something about flowers and chocolates.
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4"But that bald eagle snatched my toupee!" protested the Jellystone Forest Ranger, "Tit for tat! Quid pro quo!" and that's when he quit the service and took a job as president of
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3The only problem was that the doctor who had reanimated me, did so by attaching a gopher head to my neck. He apologized, but said it was necessary. His gopher Igor fell in love
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3-rotection League recognized the cufflinks right away as belonging to Shirley Temple after she got a sex change and became Shawn Temple. But McGeilmore said nothing, hoping that
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2meat, with the right spices, makes even a hat edible. It's all here in my new book: Stuffed Clothing Meals for Cannibals on a Budget. Anyone can stuff a stocking, but did you know
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10suspicious, then ran out of the bank and down the street to the park, where she disappeared into a crowd of people who all wore parkas and sunglasses. The bank cop that followed
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2Relieved, the dog wanders off a cliff and breaks his neck, as the suitcase is slowly concealed under a blanket of snow. A starving has been watching from an alley, and tiptoes out