Finished Folds (641—660)
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4: RAY BANS- don't put your eyes out! BAM! End f commercial. What do you think, boss? Do I have the contract? Wait! Don't go! I got another idea you'll love. Okay- a clown with a
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1"I don't wanna seem ungrateful," he said from under his Moe Howard bangs, "but I ordered whiskey." "Oh dear, I'm sorry," she answered, "but we can't serve alcohol to people who are
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3But one night, after everyone had gone to bed, the rogue eyeball dislodged itself from it's socket and rolled out into town. The only bar open was Craig's Motorhead Pub, a biker
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1, whose name was Julia, leaned its eye-stalk in Fern's direction and gave her the once-over. "Hey- you're not a leech moss monster," Julia cried, "what are you doing in this part
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1moment, captured on video which soon went viral. The next morning, they were stars. "Pupa and the Everettes", as they came to be known, were asked to play a gig at the United
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5what sounded like angels beckoning her over the cliffside. But when she leapt into their open arms, they evaporated, and in their place a giant raft hung in the air. She bounced
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2was descending his staircase in the nude to retrieve my manuscript from him when he suddenly stood and bade me to stop, his pipe falling from his mouth. Horrified, I stood still as
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5I tried to remain calm as I walked the suitcase briskly up the escalator to the 3rd street exit. I tried not to let my eyes dart hither and yon as I marched to Manny's Cafe. But I
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7Secretly, Mrs. Pence was taking each 78 rpm off the player after it was played, and pressing it into a smooth disc, which she sold as dinnerware. "Hey, what happened to all my
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4"Oh come on, just one more," begged Maggie as she waved a dark purple Air Freshener tree under Phil's nose. "It's the new MEGA-dank locker fragrance!" Phil tried not to sniff it,
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3the educated farm boy asked W. for the name of 'that Mexican fellow', W. blew his top. "Who cares what his name is?" W. shouted, red-faced, "just tell him to pull the surrey aroun
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2I tossed Anna's head into the river, where it bobbed along downstream, humming hideously all the way. Her headless body also began to hum. I had not silenced her! From far away, I
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5didn't want all those gross dying people to die in Corridor 458 where he was dying. Heyman Boyd needed solitude, not company. So he crawled to the much-less-popular Corridor 5, and
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3cadence of the verse and slapped the composer's wrists with a wooden yardstick. But "Secret Agent Priest and Pirate Nun became a hit TV show because the general public does not
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5he held that same pillow over the prison guard's face long enough to make him pass out. He then trotted as quietly as possible to the uniform closet, where he put on two pairs of
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3were fortunate to land on a heap of dead former White House musicians who had also fled through that same window before them. "Johnson," paned Olsen, "I never promised you a rose
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3the galaxy to Avos XII where they could have a honeymoon in a peaceful tepee, far from the madding crowds of Earth, that is if they didn't mind all the vulture aliens. The Agent
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3the neighborhood kids, since they keep disappearing and my wife keeps simultaneously planting new flower beds in the yard. She calls each a "tribute" to the missing brat. I do not
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3become huge and black with poetic longing. Jarrold's poetry sank into the children's sponge-like minds and made them want to visit other planets where they might find acceptance.
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2Muffy sued the academy for feline gender bias and in the end, Snookums was sent to the animal shelter for feline fraud. Muffy felt bad, but lost no sleep in the Green House, where