Finished Folds (881—900)
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4their minds with her thoughts. "Ouch! Ow!" they protested. "Stop whining," said the nurse, "or you won't get lollipops afterward. They pouted, but remained silent as she probed
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1before he collapsed into a large blob of plastic. Sensing the drop in energy of The Force, the Priest smiled and wiped his hands as he walked from the grave. No one was saved. Good
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4To my surprise, the whirling of the vortex did not cause me nausea, but the yowling of the cat was beginning to get on my nerves. Through the vortex walls, I could just make out
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4Victorious, he climbed atop the mountain of his slain foes, raised his face to the blood red moon and howled with pride. Then the mountain gave way and he abruptly disappeared down
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3cooking oils. When the beggars are properly fattened, add them to the onions and stir-fry until crispy. Serve over a warm bed of used Prada footwear and wash down with plenty of
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2, or maybe it was just my trainer, Lou. One moment he was on the sidelines calling me a "lady" and the next moment (after the lump hammer) he had become a walrus God. And I was His
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1one, idiot- of course the one with the piranhas! Get rid of Super Weasel before he gets his own movie deal!" Is this the end of Super Weasel? Yes. He is now just weasel bones.
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2Because Houdini had learned how to fold time from a beard of bees that he had met when he had slipped off into space by accident. "God taught me this trick," said the beard of bees
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3And so it was that on that very day, he and Angus quit their crummy jobs and went out into the universe to raid the dead and pull a few bucks off the rich at the same time. Aye, it
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1going to pay for this, that calendar cost me $3.99 at Target, thought Spock before he blacked out. When he awoke, he found himself in what looked like a yellow plastic hallway.
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3" cried the aliens when they saw what a mess we had made of our planet. With that, they left, but a little spider from their planet had dropped to Earth's crust from their craft.
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3-parented. That was Pluto's problem. He was a deadbeat dad, and it was keeping him from high status on Spacebook. So he wrote a check for $700K and sent it to his ex-wife Venus.
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10You don't want to have to deal with a fish who has had the wrong organs detached. It is not pleasant. A leading surgeon recently had his face eaten off by one of them. They're that
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3Agnus accidentally bumped over a test tube of fibriullum into a pot of coffee, creating the perfect combination that we were sure would cure him. So we thawed him out and gave him
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6was wowed by Queen Elizabeth II's ability to go everywhere and asked her if she could also travel into other dimensions. Her tight red lips bent into a mischievous little smile.
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9th a good, swift kick to my behind. He also rammed my head into a large jar of pickled beets before canning me. Now magenta-faced and jobless, I have taken to begging for olives by
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4But no sooner was the solution given to Dr. Bong than he seemed to drop off the face of the earth. A decade later I found a photo of him under an assumed name. He had become rich
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0my mind much like Hitler invaded Poland. She stormed in and destroyed every competing thought. I stood on the ruins that were once my mind and flew a white flag. "You win, Mel," I
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0" The robot thought about this until smoke emerged from his hatch. "Excuse me," he muttered before adding, "I had assumed that the escape pod was only for humans and that I would
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1"Great, well let him wave his magic wand and get the floors buffed and let me get some goddamn sleep!" he said and hung up the phone on his friend. Meanwhile, out by the dumpster,