Finished Folds (981—1000)
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7"You just don't appreciate a trained voice, you philistine," the actress spat at the director, "Besides, I can't work with this awful band." The New York Philharmonic cringed at
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7of 'Spittin' Juice'? I'll have you declared legally insane!" And with that, the judge slammed down the gavel and Keln found himself on a one-way trip to the Nut House. At first, he
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4thing I'd do. Turns out it was the last thing I did, because shortly thereafter, I crashed my bike into the back of a Greyhound bus. My mad ghost now haunts that bus, and I am more
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4salt water and krill and took the whale home as a pet. It did not fit in the bathtub, and Mama got awful mad at the mess I made trying to drag it through the house. So he had to
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1I never could resist Lemmy in leather, and he knew this. So it is he that I blame for my downfall. He made me leave my happy home, drink my life away and land in this gutter. Lemmy
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1And being a god, I can have any woman I desire. But how would I ever know if she actually loved me, or was only under my power? The stories of my conquests had grown thin. Even I
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2"Look, we're in danger of wiping out every endangered species on the Galapagos," Alan honked into the phone. "Hey, people gotta eat," shrugged Adam. It was clear that fried booby
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2shouldn't it, when nobody knows what is real or fake any more, anyhow. Maybe we never did. How should we know? Still, Batman was unnerved when he read the morning papers. He had
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6-NSIST on making whoopie on any aircraft. Ralph and Beth-Anne sneered at the belligerent lovers in the airplane commode. Their love rose above mere base animal instincts, even tho
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5. So it was that the great beast went lumbering over the land, trampling barns and small shopping centers. Papu had a small Greek restaurant in the Piney Hills Min Mall, and could
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1to whom I might sacrifice this virgin, for lo, she has been getting on my last nerve with her demands for fried foods while refusing my advances. Presently, the great Mayan god of
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1shuddered as another wave of incontinence rushed through it. "Some 'god'," I snorted to myself. "You know that as a god, I can read your mind," it snapped as it rushed off to the
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10sent turd-sniffing police dogs into my back seat to make sure that it really was a turd. One of them ate it by mistake, thus destroying the evidence. At least my cab was clean.
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2carcinogenic juiciness was one cigar too many. But despite Dmitri's warning, Isiah could not keep himself from lighting a Belvedere up behind the gas station men's room. The smoke
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2-atz, the school bully, engraved upon his posterior, she knew that Mr. Buttle had completely lost his mind. Seriously, Arnie Schwartz would graduate eventually, but a tatoo is fore
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3the signature, having assumed that they were the only varmints left on Earth after the Great Varmint Apocalypse. Others defaced the notice with smears of animal disapproval. It was
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8-ness outside, moonflowers bloomed at the sound of his voice, and tree frogs gathered by the window to answer to the lilt of Misuke's voice. I just listened to his voice and wept
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5by dangling a mannequin on long teflon strings under the skylight, which his wife Tippy thought was a bit much, since she did most of the dusting. "Humphrey," she said to him as sh
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2that it was only one of those optical illusion, pennies-in-a-cup tricks. I glowered at the proprietor for amking a fool of me. He smirked and stepped back into the shadows. A pale
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4Of course, he chose the one with the teeny ta-tas, as he figured she would have less need for fancy bras from Victoria's Secret, and so would cost him less in anniversary gifts.