Finished Folds (1001—1020)
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2with that glittery frog who invited her to Prague on his private jet? She'd be laughed out of the glamorous lounge at the airport! But, she thought, she could claim she was robbed
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1It was true. The colonel had intended to use Zach without auto-tune as a secret weapon against Canada, if Canada ever went totally communist. But now that Jessup knew his secret,
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1The young man looked surprised. "Yes, I was Death Kid's dance partner for years. We won an Olympic Gold medal for our Bossa Nova routine." Far away, a band began to play.
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6the snakes' eyes filled with tears, as they had never been put down like that before. "Why do you hate us? Are we not all Gawd's critters?" Tommy Copperhead asked the preacher.
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6But Ted's dad turned from him and dialed Tigger on the phone. "Listen, you piece of crap," he told Tigger, "You keep repeating words like "scruptum" to my kid and I'll beat the
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3-rs were going for over $60K on the black market, and lord help you if you needed a back hoe. "Damn you, alien overlords!" I muttered as I dug an olympic-sized swimming pool using
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3the battery in my TV remote gave out. "NOOOOOOOOO...!" I screamed, tearing out all my beautiful hair. At the drug store, I clawed my way to the front of the line with replacement
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4shopping district because the firetruck's tires had been punctured by the potholes on the way to the call. The fire had to be put out with beer from a passing beer truck. The Mayor
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4-rrived and the doctor recommends a full genitalectomy." I had never heard Granny speak like this, let alone over a loudspeaker. Stifling a laugh she added, "Oh, and your old man
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4. What she didn't know was that now I could see her painting reflected in the mirror behind her. It was a painting of the two of us in a passionate embrace, only we had horns.
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3, even for a short visit. Bryna looked out the window of the train and watched her country slither away for the last time. She knew she should be sad, but she wasn't. Ahead of her
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5they be so stupid. "You stupid cops!" she blared at them, confident that they didn't understand a word she was saying. Unfortunately, her body language gave away her intentions and
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3First, he would accept the Dragon's task, then enter it into the Fair of Ruining Everything (in Giggleswick) and then he would ruin everything and walk home with the trophy! This
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2out of the corner of my eye as he stormed off, exasperated. "Schmuck," I thought to myself as I gazed back up at the sky. Somehow I had missed the mushroom cloud that had risen
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2"Let's all play 'Who Murdered Madam Paddington'?" suggested Sir Byron playfully as he slipped the doomed woman a poisoned G & T. "Goody," said the Crown Prosecutor, "Let's hide in
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6She slapped the mini Bible from my hands as her eyeballs rolled back horrifically in her head. "Aint no sin language in the Good Book!" she gurgled, spinning on the floor like
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2cow were they stumped! But after a decade of this, the 3 decided to declare themselves wisemen just for being so patient. They scanned the skies for a sign that would lead them to
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4And when he awoke from this third dream, Dr. Sardonicus found himself in a fourth dream. He was trying to dial a telephone, but had forgotten how. The buttons looked like scorpions
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14Before long, the elected officials were crouching in their own waste and picking nits from each other's receding hairlines. Vines began to grow in the capitol dome, and nothing
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8"When did we get old, Leo?" Amber asked. "When didn't e get old?" he answered. From the kitchen the tea kettle whined, but neither moved to fetch it. When Death arrived at the door