Finished Folds (1321—1340)
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3on display in an automat somewhere in New York City. It was 1963, and the tired office workers eyed him with doubt. He didn't look like a fish taco, whatever that was. His price
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4For a moment he floated in the air, suspended among the shards of window glass which hung about him like a glinting full-body halo. He wanted to live in that moment forever, but he
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7Wordlessly I jammed an awl into a nearby cabbage patch kid doll. (Far away, a cabbage screamed.) "I am the Vegan Voodoo Lord!" I announced as the unpetrified maiden re-petrified.
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2"Right there," he said, indicating my family. "How dare you refer to us as "crackers"," I yelled, feeling the cheese rise like bile in my throat. (Bravely I swallowed it back down,
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5Strawberry Face climbed the mountain of bodies of those he had slain in the name of peace and non-violence and looked out over the now-lonely landscape. Far away he heard the sound
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3life to begin, outside of Transylvania's tyranny. You and I are going to lift your hump onto the next train out of this burgh and head to New York City, USA, where people like us
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3"Sorry for not being dead yet," Ringo told the cashier at the dead man's haberdashery, "But I'd like to return this hat." "I see," said the cashier, "What seems to be the problem
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5Det. Manatee pulled a rubber Ford Fairlaine mask over his head and entered the criminal's hideout, only to come face to face with Ford. Thinking quickly, Manatee mirrored Ford's
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4-ad me to their queen, whom I could barely see due to all the after-images of flashing lights burned onto my retinas. "Look at me when I speak!" the queen demanded, but all I could
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3I turned over the automated warehouses to those who had lost their jobs in the process, but kept the profits as they worried themselves sick over the complicated upkeep. "Not my
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5the blue baby. It coughed up a swallowed Binky and regained its color. Smith held the child as it cried, and George fell to his knees, believing he had witnessed a miracle.
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3But the devil didn't like it when he discovered that Mr. Bull had stolen some of his lost souls from him, and had started his own "new and improved" version of Hell. He called it
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3-led? Me too. But Charles Fort isn't puzzled, the putz. He thinks that just because he spouts nonsense, he knows everything. But he doesn't know that I am running away with his
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2had tied me to her sofa, had put a bag over my head and was now calling the police, I think. I heard her hang up the phone , then grinding noises, as if she was sharpening a knife.
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2The woodland animals, too, would gather around Peter Gabriel's bathroom window to listen to him sing in the shower. It wasn't until a tiny sparrow was hit by a stray drumstick that
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2picked up a flock of banshees that had followed him into The Frugal Scot, but remained invisible to the mortals therein. "I'll have a half-shot of whiskey," he told the bartender.
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5So she reached out and touched herself on the arm. "I am lukewarm and a little fuzzy," she announced to a passing hornet, who didn't care how she felt, but was more concerned about
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6I especially love how the spotted scarf matches the many pimples on your manly pectorals." The Emperor gazed into the mirror at his nude form and nodded. "Does this big butt make
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3Psychopath #13 immediately pulled out into the lead, as he was violently swinging about a soiled toilet seat at the others. Psychopath #5 managed to duck, but his tinfoil hat was
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3, but take care not to damage thy crown, as it looks quite delicate today," Jill answered. So we wended our way through the Renaissance Festival and up the hill, where the bottled