Finished Folds (1381—1400)
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3two girls both named Brandy out on a date at the same time, in overalls? No, I didn't think so. Juan and his high-falutin' ways wouldn't know a saw-horse from a plug nickel. Once I
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3-e tip-toeing away down the bladder control aisle, arm in arm. How dare they leave me here, covered in my own putrefaction? The heartless bitches! So the dog and I went home and
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4found myself ordering a bottle of lactose in a French cafe, much to my date's surprise. "Watch me convert this into lactic acid," I told her as she rapidly disappeared. The cheese
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5We're just a bunch of hastily animated characters in a Hannah-Barbera world, after all. Why should we care about laws and gravity and how our 1970's clothes clash?
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3was a leprechaun. Of course! The penchant for green sparkly suits and the ever-present urge to hide pots of gold! Why hadn't Melissa realized before that she was one of them?
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4-ctor button?" I asked, not noticing that I had, in fact, pressed said button. "No need," he said as we shot through the elevator ceiling. He grabbed me as huge bat wings sprouted
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2-cle relaxant left," I told him, "I took it all." "You selfish twit," he yelled, "just for that I'm not giving you your final orders!" He stormed away from me, but all I could do
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6swam out 200 yards or so, then turned and waved to Andrian, who smiled and waved back. "You idiot!" cried Tim, "that mermaid could have made you rich!" But Adrian knew that he
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3full of it, then. Full of blood. Now, not so much. I sat down slowly in the crimson lake that had formed on the floor. The color seeped up the fabric of my pants and I thought
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4now on the verge of telling an 'I knocked your mama" joke when your mama stormed in and grabbed Big and Little Data by their collars and dragged their drunken arses from the room.
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1Detective Manatee was there to catch me. "I deduced that you'd wind up in the ocean sooner or later," he said with a wink. Then, carrying me on his leathery back, we rode into Port
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2-tted you that very nice owl-themed macrame wall-hanging," I shouted, indicating the work of art on the boardroom wall, "But you never thanked me!" The other directors gasped
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3"Out of the car, long-hairs!" the police shouted as they pulled them from the cars and tossed them over the cliff. By this time they were so high that they literally could not fall
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3the cellar walls for further hallucinations. Finding none, I prepared the concrete mixture and dropped the body into the hole as the back wall undulated in the corner of my eye.
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8our last. "I hope it's not too heavy for you," she called to me from the tank on my back. "Oh, I've had worse," I lied as I surveyed the treacherous mountain roads ahead of us.
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5I scampered under the bench and sat quietly as the FBI people sat down to question her, their shiny black shoes glinting in the light. In spite of myself, I felt a growl rise in my
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1So I took her out for lunch, carefully jotting down every breach of etiquette and every morsel left between her teeth. When I had collected enough criticism of her, I published a
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4once you've tasted the fruits of machine-made recipes, you never go back. Is it because of the metal shavings that inevitably fall into the meal? Or is it just because
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4Little did we know that the bench had just been painted! When we stood back up, a group of renegade art punks snickered and took photographs of our newly striped behinds for their
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2But there was no applause from the fruit section. Scandalized, the fruits marched through Eden with tiny signs reading "We are not Stupid!". Adam, Eve and the Principal hid behind