Finished Folds (1461—1480)
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6He fell onto an antique ginger jar, causing it to break. "That's it! Everybody out!" I shouted at the invading throngs, who later called me unspeakable names on Facebook. But I
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3he established The Church of Clobbering People. It seems that the city felt that Bob's church was somehow responsible for an uptick in assaults. Bob took this as religious oppressi
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3cats can't be wrong. Or can they? In another life I was a film producer churning out lousy films in a Hollywood suburb, but having a good time and scraping by. My last film was
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5After this, the bear liked to wander around town doing whatever the heck he pleased. Stealing pies. Mauling tourists. "I'm a bear," he reminded anyone who dared object.
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4forming the gates of heaven, through which he and Sister Bertrille passed. "Oops, I think I killed us," said the Sister. "You stupid nun," he said, and at once dropped through the
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5The young boy wiped the spit from his face and fantasized briefly about punching the other person in the stomach, but gathered his wits and walked home. His mother asked him how
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2-to a prostrate woman who was apparently in a coma. It was her! She had been here all along, not ignoring him, but lying here helpless! He gave her a small kick out of frustration
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1Big Al, the bartender, fixed them up with some Irish Coffees, which immediately began to quarrel with one another, resulting in the tossing of a molotov cocktail. They covered
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6Meanwhile, as the crowd watched him dance, his minions went out and picked everyone's pocket or pocketbook. They did not realize their losses until they tried to pay for drinks
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3I cackle as I cut their strings and they each fall back into the sea of faces that rushes in front of my porch. They seem disappointed to have been let go, but soon forget
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5Alas, they were even too lazy to keep track of where everyone's parents had met, and who had had a first pet named "Sparky". Toward the end, they just lay about in puddles of
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2Mary stayed up nights, pondering how her resistance to Joan's arsenic might save the world, or at least make her a few bucks. Then, quite by accident, she managed to spill some
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6"Fools!" Manatee screamed at the crowd with his last ounce of strength, "We sea creatures are the onces from whence you evolved!" Clamydia rose beside him onto the water's surface.
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5Though her new soul was pretty and shiny, it was also naive and impatient. She wished that she could have hung on to her old soul a bit longer, but it was no use. She absorbed
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2from that day last week when you had hummus for lunch. As you wiped the shredded carrot from your satisfied mouth, Jack Whiffle assumed you were dead, but in fact you were quite
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10The doctor signed on the dotted line and he and Vince were married that very day, in the sight of God, at Elvis' Lucky Wedding Chapel IV. Vince died soon afterward, and the doctor
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3"I'll give you aliens the jingle jangle," spat John Mackey, "just as soon as you're quite done with this jiggery-pockery!" The aliens visibly wiggled within their space suits.
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3-ing money. So Lucinda and Jack asked their Uncles and Aunts for advances on their birthday checks, which they endorsed and sent immediately to Cripple Creak. When they finally
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5Finally it occurred to me that I could sell all the lost TV remotes I had recently found in my fridge. But no sooner had I set up a vending table on Main Street than the police
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4-marines dove into the giant bathtubs full of moonshine and re-surfaced only to find that their periscopes were blinded. The sailors aboard heaved over the sides, only to dive