Finished Folds (521—540)
-
3Her red lips ruined the whiteness, so the brown mouse bit them off. "Ah ah ah, my lipstick and lips are insured," said Flo, whose red lips reappeared with a puff of smoke. Oh the
-
6-ad no one to be richer than. What's the point of money if you can't have more of it than someone else? Actually, Grandma's asbestos clothes made her poorer than the dead. Lawsuits
-
3wanted by you!" Tucker said as he pointed at Uncle Sam's face. Uncle Sam was finally realizing how weird it is to be pointed at so insistently. "Dr. Tucker, I'm having a break
-
4-ed-by-my-girlfriend to go with a shot of lost-my-job and a Hot Pocket of I-don't-give-a-rip. "You should consider changing your dietary habits," my doc said. "Rye of give-a-hoot
-
4... "The ingredients list seems unprofessional, but the price makes rail liquor seem snooty, so I'm game," Jake said. He was a daredevil to the bitters end. The "vodka" was really
-
9-rse driving. He always turned too sharply and sent the casket flying across the highway. But Miranda was clutch with a clutch. It's too bad her dead husband's body was on the road
-
5of the brain, all over the screen. Misspellings, non sequiturs, stream-of-consciousness gibberish. A ceaseless, undammable flow. "Her pants bore the brunt of it," said Agent
-
6Maybe trepanning wasn't all it was cracked up to be on that street sign with the olde-fashioned cursive. Then again, maybe consciousness wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Nothing
-
6regained their shape. A remorseful elephant brought an industrial strength air pump to Flatland and pumped us all back to the 3rd dimension. Naturally, the aftershock trampling
-
3making money from polar bear jerseys and not giving them a cut of the profits because they're "amateurs". It's tradition. Every Saturday, polar bears eat fish tacos and I get rich
-
4The amazing part was that this was the first time a weatherman was ever wrong. I took the rainy, muddy trail to school in a white jumpsuit. My tears didn't make my make-up run less
-
4skill with a blade. Jack's crown needed emergency surgery, and Jill had played more doctor than ma and pa put together. A crowd gathered, and Jill ramped up the theatrics. "Blood
-
2"By hook or by crook, by crook or by flail, You must flood the Earth so that I can set sail," chanted a Mojave boy desperate for adventure. God loved a good deluge, so He obliged
-
6she was a streetwalker with dementia and two club feet. These humble folds spiral out of control so quickly. Does it even make sense for a woman to wear high heels with club feet?
-
6shaved her third breast's eyebrow. She nicked herself and cried milk, which acted like a siren to neighborhood cats. "Well I one for one desire strong bones," said one such cat who
-
3donkey by the tail was going well until the donkey kicked Talking Dog #7. "We know that donkey kicking is a core exercise," said TD7's lawyer. "Exhibit 1: The donkey's abs. Clearly
-
4and I etched "Make Me" on my golden grills. Insubordination was my bling, my high fashion. I'd written "I do what I want" with lamb's blood on my coypu shawl. The bailiff gnashed
-
3-oard. "It says on here you need to do another set of lunges, facing away from me," my PE teacher told me. He used his whistle to call everyone else, but me? He called me by name
-
3living in a plastic bubble. "No one will violate my personal space ever again," Amy said. He laughed at her. "Oh Amy, you're still IT. You can't tag us in there." She rolled at him
-
4I would dress this late 80's corpse like me, leave it at my desk, and get payed overtime. I wanted graveyard shift money. The funeral parlor's boss knew I didn't wear spandex mini