Finished Folds (621—640)
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7Regardless, I knew Fido and I could make the best canned beef and cheese ravioli. He was a top chef, and I could can with the best of 'em. 1st prize was a Get Out of Bath Free card
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6was the janitor who had to sweep up Medusa's cut hair before it slithered out of the salon. "Don't drive off the foxes, they tip well," I told this snake. Now she hisses our jingle
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4their glass diets but swap lard jars for these revolutionary glass beads. "I'm so satisfied dietarily," said a woman bleeding heavily from glass cuts in her mouth. My was she thin
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5spree at the pet store, since there were now way more jobs than humans alone could fill. I bought a wyvern egg and waited for it to hatch. Hatchless weeks passed. Romney promised
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4"Time for our date," said Death, patting the backseat of the tandem bike. I wanted out. "Sorry, I, uh, didn't bring a helmet. I wouldn't wanna fall off and die." This saddened him
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3"At the pa'ntologist's house. I stole them while he was on a gal'n." "Well, put on as many pairs of his skinny leotards as you can. We have to one-up the T-shirt challenge, or else
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1"Because if you're with an ugly loser like me, you must be blind." "I am blind, Roger. Blind with LOVE." My third-wheeling friend, Doug, barfed. "Ugh, there. There's some tahini
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5Appeasing a woman is a full-time job, so forget your aspirations. "What aspirations?" Exactly. Address her as "Oh Haver of Slender Frame" whilst touring the Lindt Chocolate Factory
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5Bob. He pulled the shortest straw, so he had to stay behind and distract the Boss Monster while we all escaped. "Now, I feed!" Boss Monster screeched. Our guilt subsided when Bob
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6It is a corollary modestly proposed, that a married man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mistress. It is a corollary to that corollary above, that she is young
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2"No way." This lactose tolerance had gone too far. I needed to round up every string and can of cheese into my internment basement. "That's where I hide stuff I hate: my exes, my
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4so I can box it up and deliver it to him. "Nah, you're gonna blow it." "Am NOT. You can trust me with this. Now hand it over." "No!" "Gimme! You're ripping Tim's..." *Rip* "Uh-oh."
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5"He means let's suck it Lady and the Tramp style." That seemed a reasonable means of extracting the snake venom from Alice's ankle. "Nah, just think about it," said Beatnik Evan
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1Pencil's male chicken was breathtaking. Just when you thought Ticonderoga Blacks had cornered the market on the long and smoothly tipped, here comes a yellow #2. My female rooster
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5gave him a power point on life insurance. The choking toddler revealed a badge. I'd been narced. "Selling life insurance to a minor is illegal. Any last words, creep?" "Well, deals
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5"You're welcome." Crud, God could hear my thoughts loud and clear. "That's right." And He seems intent on commenting on every single one. "Wait, you can hear My thoughts too?"
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4I don't need your fold. Hmph. I will fit an entire story's worth of action into this one fold. Um, oh gosh. This is hard. *Ring Ring* "Hey, evasnapez? I need you, man. Please give
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4IN PARADISE was the official tourism song of the Galapagos Islands. "Is all the 'HA'-ing necessary?" "Yes, the Galapagos have a reputation for lacking humor. But now cheese turtles
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5, this pen pal thing isn't working out. I hear you've been writing to other people. Unforgivable. You only ever liked me for what you thought my Australian accent sounded like, so
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1He created a need for his tarring prowess by taking a jackhammer to Route 50 every night. "I accept handsome payments and pretty pennies only," his bumper sticker read. The mayor