Finished Folds (1221—1240)
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1on his Imployee of the Month photo. He lured the child into Hellywood with promises of heavy metal and lava surfing. A sinister breeze from Satan's wing blew the neglected kid into
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5a nature show suggested that his Death Cap soup would be the end of him. Or had he dreamt that too? His dog activated the master's "Bark On! Bark Off!" sleep implant again, causing
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5The Minotaur flossed a victim's entrails from his teeth and put on a tie. "I got my wallet, my keys... Hey, my keys are gone!" He'd dropped them in the maze, again. His date waited
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4She wore a Greek tragedy mask because she was too exhausted to show emotion. The boombox she carried would play Gregorian chants on loop. If she had to be miserable, then her boss
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2a horse with a musket holster, dressed in Confederate garb. He tricked it into fishing with him by saying there were oats in boats (not a lie, but misleading). One night, a storm
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6with separation anxiety. Every kickflip sent him into a frenzy. His dreams of being reincarnated as a fridge magnet were farfetched so, for now, he tied himself to his board and
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3I sweated orange. I had to load up on Gatorade to keep myself from fainting from FS pressure. The problem was compounded by the fact that I'm an English teacher. One missed comma
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8was a fraud. The only -ectomies Dr. Gibbs had performed were couponectomies on the Sunday paper. She found his scissor collection in a cabinet above the dead cats. One pair was gol
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5I’m not a one-of-a-kind. According to the stamp on my birth certificate, I’m a “Limited Edition '94 Bob Vantz”. The other 19 Bob Vantz’s that were produced are scattered throughout
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4My girlfriend and I were playing The Blame Game, our favorite board game. I rolled a 4, moved my pewter, and drew a "Slanderous Accusation" card. I had 1 minute to mold clay into
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5in nearly as much as his skull. The fist-shaped indent in his dome was the result of his many drunken, snarky remarks. His head like a hole was as black as his soul, but he'd rat
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4Sawryer searched through the cabinets, finding the Fibula of Caligula. His pal, Hunck Finnn, connected it to the knee bone and thigh bone in his knapsack. The Cryptid Crypt smelled
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0a smooth criminal on a space-time loop. The repetitive hitting rendered Misty incapable of catching a frisbee, so the only way she could support me was by doing ads with Sarah McLa
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4smell would ward off the IRS trolls. I penny-pinched myself whenever I daydreamed about spending money. But sometimes I had shameful lucid dreams about impulse buying ladders and
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2-te. Days Inn had a new line of flying suites because of failed negotiations with land developers. My poncho and I crashed into the sliding glass door on a couple's balcony. A bird
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4-self as much as he hated herself. They were both hermaphrodites against their will. I, Monty Buffit, and my assistant charlatans have found a cure for the "boy" and "his" "mom":
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3using Patrick Starr's "weast" compass. The sand was aggravating the camel's toe, so I decided to carry our leader on my back for a change. I soon exhausted our Gatorade rations and
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3patients at the hospital sing it all the time. Jamie Lee Curtis has brainwashed them, even the men. The Activia shoots through their system like a Dannon cannon, but their appetite
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4Gil prepared for every scenario. His airbags -- always deployed. His backup flashlight battery charger -- charged. His dying suit -- on at all times. But even Gil hadn’t foreseen
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4sheet with poorly placed holes on. But he brought the Nerd Messiah a Philips CD-i with a working copy of Thunder in Paradise. The third wise man, dressed as Ant-Man, brought