Finished Folds (1201—1220)
-
6He was on appetite suppressants like Adipex-P and Rust-Oleum, but to no avail. The muffler went down easily enough, but the antenna was dangerously horizontal as it slid through
-
6At the castle gate, the French army waited to lay siege. Inside, the English had run out of frankincense. "Can someone PLEASE dump the lair pots outside?" the King asked. An archer
-
3the Jehovah's Witnesses' "Operation: Grace Invaders". A rocket launched, dropping prayer pamphlets on unsuspecting barns. In defense, a farmer threw an egg (rather than hatch it)
-
1"Blow out the candle and make a wish, granny!" we said. Granny looked down at the single candle in the Tastykake Chocolate Junior with disdain. She made her wish. The house rumbled
-
6summoning ghosts of Hip-Hop past. "Rub-a-dub dub get me some unleavened grub," said Biggie. The Pastor splashed Fiddy with holy water, but the black magic tore the moral fabric of
-
3It was a crushing defeat. The heat wave had destroyed Mr. Okley's pumpkin patch only days before the town's annual Veggie Might competition. His shriveled produce was too weak for
-
8large pile of "Hoarders" DVD's to suffocate it. "After we let it sit under there for a few days, we can make a pot of pony bologna," my dad said. I called a Hoarders producer for
-
4The stale rusks strengthened his teeth to the point that he developed a set of Super Chompers. Although the stench was Molar Musk-esque, Paddock's ability to chew through the ship
-
4into inventions way ahead of their time, like the Italian caveman who invented Rotelle before the wheel (or pasta). Claude tried to seep Tesla's mind with his root attachment until
-
3“Oh, how fun!” said Denise as she read the flyer for the Midwives Indoor Soccer League. “Hey, Trish, it says that fun, like babies, is to be expected. I'm signing us up." But Trish
-
5“If you elect me as prez, I promise to put a soda machine in every hallway, and to organize another field trip to the creek where Miss Rollins got bit by a snake.” The kids cheered
-
7profit from people's bad decisions, all the better," said the divorce court lawyer werewolf. "Look, there's a portly ex-wife client, alone. What say you, pack mates - attack?"
-
2“You’re listening to WWJD 106.3 FM “The Moose”. For tonight’s Local Produce segment, we’re pleased to have Maine’s own rock keyboardist prodigy, Juan Charles. How do you do, Juan?”
-
5-nk so I can take pics for my next post: "Why planking iz cooler than Tebowing". Double-digit hits could be on the line! And Timmy, you can haz cheezburger if you do it. Please?
-
6increased my circumference with many a mana pie to pad my power. But no rain was falling this season, so I turned to the Pi scriptures. Chapter 3, Verse 14: "The life of Pi channel
-
4“I have sorer tusks,” bellowed the mastodon, making his excuse known. "Please don't tell the herd you beat me in a deer-rules charging match." The boar replied, "Fat chance! This m
-
7"Don, we're afraid we've given your understudy, Stu, your job," their boss said. Don sang, operatically, "Doth he know my assembly lines by heart?" Stu piped up, "Many nights I've
-
5Her estrous bell rang out for all to hear. She stuck a thermometer in “there” and wore a Lebron jersey. But no males got the hint. “Perhaps I'll use a gong," she thought aloud near
-
10A ‘V’ of storks flew into Saint Petersburg Maternity Ward to steal babies again. Babies were Russia’s #1 export, so their economy was crumbling. Storks slew roubles, as well as
-
6and asked, "Which finger should I use?" The assistant chose the pinky, which the Proctologist then adorned with an X-wing finger puppet. Hemorrhoids of this magnitude could be repe