Finished Folds (1581—1600)
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3and summoned the ghost of Tim Tebow. Unprepared, Tim appeared in naught but Jockey shorts. "Umm, what's the problem, guys," he asked shamefully. The Gator-hater comedian whimpered
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2into the feather-stuffed "dying pillows." Feathers flew about. "I'm not eating the cult baby stew if my coffin doesn't have a full pillow for the afterlife with Shamu," said one.
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2and got me a beak transplant from Toucan Sam (long deceased). When I awoke, I could smell everything: the crisp linens, the autumn breeze, the... is that fruit? I pulled out the IV
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3hit his gorgeous ears, he had already devised a strategy to primp his cancer. "Ugly cancer would be most unbecoming of a man so perfect," he said. He instructed his old cells to
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2dog emitted such vocal orations as had been esoterically (to humans) compared to such verbiage as "Bow wow," although such comparisons..." My daughter shut the story book and ran
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4complemented my Bose toes quite nicely. "This little piggy went to an Iron Maiden concert," I explained to my professor. As the metal escalated, my toes were overcome with the urge
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4But the flavour of cheese was unexpected. "Swiss? I thought you guys were neutral," I said, licking my wounds. The cheese pulled a glock out of one of his holes and
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5a melon head if you add your IQ's. Personally, I think your companion is the rusty wheel on your mental shopping cart, y'know what I mean?" He kept drooling on the bar code scanner
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5-rophic leg, since "big legs can't fit into skinny jeans, duh." As he put green gel in my hair, I addressed the elephant in the room: "Hey man, how'd you flunk beauty school?" Ho
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4And he liked living out puns. "Time to stick it to the Man," and "The Man's met his match," he said as corporate HQ went up in flames. His eyes lit up like diamonds as the sirens
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6the landfill munchers got the munchies when they chewed through a discarded pot shipment. Once all the world's waste was gone, the world itself became their munchkin. The crust was
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4"Sex Ed at a catholic school sure is lame," I thought. The puppet show continued when "Spermy" visited his pal, Ovary. Then the God puppet entered heroically and condemned
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1and said, "The Toilet Bowl Barracuda is beneath you. Smell." All I could smell was my breakfast bacon. "Boss, I don't believe..." But then I heard Heart's "Barracuda," and suddenly
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4to undo the work of Robin Hood." Royalty Man sniffed the air. "Hmm, I sense a 5/3 citizen being hampered by legislators." With a swing of his polar bear-skin cape, he teleported to
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6Texas, which seceded after Texas Instruments created a GDP greater than most nations. "So, how do I use a TI-89?" he asked, unheard. After fumbling in its menu, he broke down and
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5the Mike and Ikes secret recipe. "Argh, I forgot sugar and corn syrup," I realized as I looked down at my blobs of food coloring. "And what's food starch?" My amateur candy making
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7ready to set up a bunk bed. "I call top bunk," He said. The King didn't know that I was only befriending him so I could kill him in his sleep. I didn't slay him that night because
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3other children strapped with anti-dirtbikecraft missiles? I fired up my Tamaha and headed for the buses, but it suddenly shut down. My engine had a Rationality Override feature and
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5-terfly Bob pointed out. The villagers needed to work up a mental sweat to maintain symmetry with their bodies. "It's called Sudoku," Bob said. "Just fill in... Hey! Don't eat it!"
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3thought? Like clockwork, our every thought was met with a swiftly delivered sweet potato. Just thinking about it makes me... what's that? A potato... for me? What's the catch?