Finished Folds (1621—1640)
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3Hannibal Lecter had finally been given a cell with a window. But his view of the scenery beyond the incisor-proof glass was blocked by a giant billboard. When the guard approached,
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2the cycloptic Giga-Weiner Dog. It flooded all of downtown while marking a fire hydrant. Shop owners boarded their windows with "Giga-Cat That Way -->" signs, which led the Dog to
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7held my manifesto, "On Government Tax Collectors/Axe Murderers," in place on the IHOP's wall. Just then, a man in a suit walked in. He carried a TI-83, an axe-shaped case, and
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5She was knocked on her back when she bumped into Her Majesty Queen of V8gina, a voluptuous health nut. "Have you know decency, V4?" asked V8. The brown-nosing V7's nodded and
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8; or was it alarm and an egg? Hmm, my egg timer had disappeared recently; or had I simply forgotten where I'd put it? Using the knife set, I cut out my brain to search my memories
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6be subject to my artistic license to kill. "Mommy didn't see the shark coming," I wrote. I dedicated an entry to each nincompoop. One day, my journal would fool anthropologists.
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3. Saboteurs by nature, the bats dangled aluminum foil around the phone, blocking its signal. Vengeful by nature, she stuck the bats in quarantine bubbles, causing a sonar eclipse.
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3meant it - he lured them all to his chloroform-fueled snow machine, then drug the drugged kids to the Cobra Cave. Plugging in his Gibson, he howled, "Wakey wakey, melty facey!" and
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53rd grade classroom, their lust for daring little hands naught but insatiable. Queen Pumpkin the Fleshmangler had printed out meat pie recipes the night before. "My Pumpkins, today
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1OF RICHES in my basement had been flooded on. Donning my orange biohaz suit, I descended the steps to check the damage, only to find a Black Mold colony. "Nice flag," I told them.
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6fairy godmothers when I run over their pumpkin carriages. "You're digging your own grave, Gravedigger," they shout, wands at the ready. But my monster truck has a wandshield and
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4That's why he plays Apples to Apples against himself. "I'm undefeated!" Cheney exclaimed, having matched 'Helen Keller' with 'appetizing.' The hit squad asked if they could play,
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3-atcher. "So what other demons have you stalked?" "I got some pix of Mara picking his nose. I sold them to O Magazine to pay off art school." He dug through a pile. "Here's Orobas
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3in the lady's restroom. "How many can we fit in 'till it's a fire hazard?" she wondered. Someone barged in. "Is this the Whiskas Liberation Front?" "Next stall, ma'am." The meeting
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3flavors of toothpaste at Walgreens, so I killed two birds with one stone. "This one's made with real blueberry shepherd's pie," I remarked, ignoring the surgeon general's warning:
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3"...re's a monster in her basement. Boo!!" yelled Nurse Judy. No response. Judy often tried awakening her dead or comatose patients with scare tactics. Once, she fully revived
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2Waxer. The sudden movement of his hands to his ears led to a painfully botched bikini wax. "Aiyee!" screamed the Chief. The podium toppled over, revealing Mthulu on his knees. "Umm
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5looked better with a low pixel count. "Hey babe, what's..." I paused. My sister's tabs were "Kill Brother," "Chemistry of Bleach," and "Cute Puppy Pix". All garnered suspicion. She
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3Spectacles." When I put them on, I could see all evil within a ten-mile radius. I immediately noticed three hooligans snatching oranges from a curbside peelery/juicery. "I'll stop
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4glistens and gleams like a fresh set of dentures... what confounded contraption is it?" Arthur, long senile, was unable to identify the un-stoned Sword he was sitting on. Lancelot