Finished Folds (161—180)
-
7proof that your jester boots fit." He stopped juggling and said, "Well excuse me if work seeps into my more serious artistic pursuits, honey." His bells jingled as he stormed out
-
1Mother Nature's PMSing pretty hard right now, you guys.
-
3boy in shorts. Shorts are comfy and easy to wear, so the boy had a mobility advantage over him. "Courage will pull me through," he said as the dog used Dig and got away. A wild bat
-
3each other's arms and had a good cry. One fanboy said, "Peace! I have ginger ale and grenadine." He dumped them in a cauldron and POOF, Shirley Temple was reborn. "Whoops, too much
-
5Trojan Panda was built. The zoologists hopped in and wheeled around Penelope's panda-and giraffe-infested room. Chinese inseminators captured the Trojan Panda for mating purposes.
-
5forwent them. Our ancestors didn't have acid reflux meds, and some of them lived to almost 50. Her heart burned as she bloated like a balloon. The pile of male flesh she was dating
-
5I have everything I'll need for any unexpected turn of events: canned food, résumés, lube. Ooh, a surprise man at the door. I grab the can opener because he looks like a beans guy.
-
4The crushed car before him wad ripe for a good pawning, but first he had to get the water buffalo unstuck from the door. It had a collar and a name, so it mattered. A little butter
-
6My sis, the Wicked Witch of the West, sought revenge for the whole me-busted-by-a-house thing. She enlisted some munchkins looking to raise a little hell. Their darts brought down
-
5waved them to appear bigger. God read in a pamphlet that this stance was crucial when dealing with a predator. The Devil sniffed the air... Hot sauce. God had some on his robe from
-
4our more artistic jellybeans, like Ennui Limón." A lobbyist for the apocalypse industry sprang out from behind a potted plant. "Make more Black Death Licorice, or the deal's off."
-
7Garfield's thought cloud read, "Why are there gold rings in my lasagna?" Enraged, Jon bopped Garfield with the hammer. Jim Davis was really reaching here. The SEGA story arc
-
5Ooh, let's make vowels cost 250 points. That should kill the storytelling, but what about the "collaborative" part? FoldingStory's hippy-dippy agenda needs a little misanthropy, so
-
6across space, not time; time travel doesn't count toward frequent flyer miles. Alas. I was assigned to 1930's Germany, where I sought an easy out. Tickets for the LZ 129 Hindenburg
-
2speaking from the heart or whatever. I replied, "Dear, I'm pretty sure I told you to cut the crap. Don't be surprised if I go less slowly next time." I needed a bidet, and fast.
-
4castle balcony to address the common pronouns: "Fie unto ye who'd turn ye's coats against mine empire." I said "fie" again and brought out the jester. Plebeians love a good juggle
-
5was gonna win this episode of Fear Factor. Joe Rogan shouted something about sleeper holds as I advanced to the cockroach eating challenge. I think it was Thoreau who said
-
4Odorless, as always. I tried to open the purse I was given, but thanks to my transformation into a mannequin, movement wasn't as easy as pie. Men's clothes were more comfortable
-
6covered the dotted Sharpie lines for her next boob job. "I like how you cut your waffles into triangles," the waitress said. My brain diverted all power from its flirt detectors to
-
4on my back. According to my watch, I passed out for 2 hours, or maybe a day + 2 hours. I emerged from the bathroom and scanned one of the rest stop's maps. Baltimore?